Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Sending out those invisible 'Do Not Disturb' vibes like a boss 😘🤫 Who needs coffee when you have the power of awkwardly blown kisses to keep everyone at bay? #ProfessionalAvoidanceStrategy"

coworkers, humor, isolation, kisses, me, nobody, talk, today, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

We really do need a separate grocery store for people who’ve been on Earth before.

0

3 months ago

alien, before, Earth, grocery, grocery store, humor, joke, need, newcomer, people, shopping, store
If I turned into a “teen wolf”, my first order of business would definitely be helping my basketball team get to the local championships.

0

2 months ago

basketball, business, championships, helping, humor, i, local, order, spirit, sports, team, team spirit, teen, teen wolf, transformation, wolf
Please pray for our son, who had to unload the dishwasher when “he just did this yesterday, and he’s tired.”

0

2 months ago

chore, dishwasher, excuse, humor, just, parenting, please, pray, prayer, son, tired, unloading, yesterday
Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

0

2 months ago

animal, casual, cat, everyday, hands, humor, hygiene, laundry, pet, sarcasm, sink, towel, washing
Did you get the telepathic message I sent earlier?

0

2 months ago

communication, earlier, humor, i, joke, message, mind, mind reading, reading, telepathy
AI won’t replace me because I’m already useless to society.

0

2 months ago

AI, humor, joke, me, replace, sarcasm, self-deprecation, society, tech, useless

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sometimes my mouth hits send before my brain has a chance to stop it.

40 shares on YouTube this month:

Shout out to the dude who flipped me off in traffic. Making me feel all nostalgic for California, thank you.

52 shares on WeChat this month:

I never oversleep in the mornings. I set an alarm and a back-up alarm. Plus, there’s also a noisy kid once those fail.

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

Within a week, we’ve had a major jewel heist, a mafia-involved poker ring, and sports gambling corruption. We’re living in the 1920s.

50 shares on Telegram this month:

Unsolicited sandwich pics.

33 shares on Twitch this month:

Pouring rain, football on TV, empty house; the stuff dreams are made of.

79 shares on Facebook this month:

Depression is embarrassing because sometimes it makes you miss appointments and not return phone calls, and when the fog starts to lift, you gotta do a whole bloody apology tour.

74 shares on Discord this month:

If you voted for someone because “he’s not a politician”, then I hope your next colonoscopy is done by a plumber.

77 shares on X this month:

After Michael Jordan joined a religious order, he was known as Air Friar.

40 shares on YouTube this month:

People remind me everyday why I prefer being on my own.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Everyone’s a gangster until their doorbell rings.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but it’s time to fold the laundry that’s been lying around since last Sunday.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Picking up the hem of my baggy pants to walk up the stairs like it’s a ballgown.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Maybe her DMs haven’t been working for 2 months.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel by now.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

I am so lucky that I can’t tell the difference between a heartfelt compliment and sarcastic disdain. Life is much easier when you’re dumb.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

My wallet is like an onion; opening it makes me cry.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Buying books and reading them are actually two entirely different hobbies.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Please don’t match my crazy. One of us has to be rational here, and it’s definitely not going to be me.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

I’m inventing a website for unemployed people called LinkedOut.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

My summer body has been pending for about ten years.

Just landed via Twitch:

OnlyFans, but it’s elderly women teaching you how to sew, knit, can food, quilt, and some solid recipes. OnlyGrans.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Going from summer clothes to winter clothes: “Okay!” Going from winter clothes to summer clothes: “I AM NOT READY!”

Making waves on Snapchat:

I was a nothingburger to him, but he was an everything bagel to me…

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Horror movies should add bloopers, so after watching the main film, you’ll be able to sleep.

Trending via Twitch:

The fewer the people, the greater the inner peace.

Just shared via Pinterest:

It’s important to fuel your body with essential nutrients, which can be found in cookies, chips, and candy.

Seen just now on Slack:

Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”

Just landed via Snapchat:

I love when my cat sighs at me, like what’s got you stressed out my little freeloading homicidal maniac!?

Spotted on Slack:

Plants are like “I’ll have a light lunch.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Blowing kisses to my coworkers so that nobody talks to me today.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

We really do need a separate grocery store for people who’ve been on Earth before.

If I turned into a “teen wolf”, my first order of business would definitely be helping my basketball team get to the local championships.

Please pray for our son, who had to unload the dishwasher when “he just did this yesterday, and he’s tired.”

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

Did you get the telepathic message I sent earlier?

AI won’t replace me because I’m already useless to society.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨