Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

I stay up late every night, regret it in the morning, and the next day I do it all over again.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, why so many fingerprints?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Becoming a psychic for the foreseeable future.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Don’t throw hate at me, throw money!

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Meatloaf is a good safe word. It means I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that…

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

I wonder if Van Halen realized they were writing music just to lift weights to.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

I was walking near a construction site today and heard the foreman yell, “You’re doing a good job!” I know that was meant for me.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

I don’t like being asked “are you at home?” Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Never skip the footnotes – it’s here you find out who made the author angry enough to write the article.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,373

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

Can anyone recommend some basic intrusive thoughts for someone looking to get into anxiety?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

It’s all fun and games until it’s 10 p.m., you’re all cozy in bed, and you remember you still have laundry in the washer.

Trending via X:

Sometimes I wish I could turn down the volume on certain people.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

FOMO is a summer thing. Winter is all about FOGO (fear of going out).

Making waves on TikTok:

The nice thing about getting older is that you don’t even have to be drunk to fall in the bushes.

Spotted on Twitch:

The downside of common sense is, having to deal with those that lack it.

Making waves on X:

Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

Going bananas on Threads:

Don’t even get into my car if you’re just gonna scream every time I hit something.

Just landed via Discord:

I’m not saying I’m messy, but if Copperfield knew what I can make disappear, he’d be jealous.

Spotted on TikTok:

The older I get, the more I start to understand the appeal of birdwatching as a hobby. I do find myself watching these little troublemakers quite often.

By day I am just a regular loser, by night I am the same loser only it’s nighttime.

Witty quote about embracing your inner loser, humorous and playful in tone.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the elusive night-time loser, blending seamlessly into the shadows 🌙. By day or night, a loser of all trades, master of none! 😂 #loserpower"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the terms and conditions I do not read.

72 shares on Instagram this month:

Trust my gut? The thing that can’t even handle milk.

37 shares on Discord this month:

I miss when bills were none of my business.

92 shares on Discord this month:

Explain it to me like I’m five then do it for me like I’m one hundred.

49 shares on Threads this month:

Controlling your emotions while on your period is an extreme sport.

26 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t believe in lying to children, unless it’s about where the good snacks are hidden. Then it’s fine.

35 shares on Threads this month:

It must be hard for a vampire to floss their fangs when they can’t see their reflection in a mirror.

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

Every man learns for himself the uselessness of owning an iPad.

25 shares on Threads this month:

You know you’re a bad cook when the dog won’t lick the plate.

12 shares on Pinterest this month:

My soulmate is chocolate cake.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Have you ever met the human version of a headache?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so old, I still drink my coffee at home in the morning. From a real cup.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My workout goals are simple: I’d just like to be able to get up off the floor without looking like a turtle trying to flip itself back over.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

There will be people in your life that say you have too many books. Those are not your people.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle and explode into a thousand bats to get out of social situations.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

After a lot of experience, I can conclude that one can never actually cross “washing dishes” off the to-do list.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Me pulling into a full parking lot: Don’t these people have homes?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

She wanted me to impress her in the bedroom, so I showed her my organized sock drawer and my fresh matching bedding.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

A spiral is just a circle that’s afraid of closure.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,654

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Let the good times roll. Let the bad times crawl. Let the acceptable times do the hopscotch.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

I always bring a glass of water to bed with me so I have something to knock over in the middle of the night.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

The best thing about work is the coffee machine and the drive home.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

She was my chai, I was her cake rusk.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

It’s so unfair that saying “xd” is still socially acceptable, but only if you’re speaking Spanish.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Rich people go to parties. It’s what they do, and somehow we must all watch videos of it.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

It sure is strange that after Tuesday the rest of the week spells WTF.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

My talents include sneaking out of work early on a Friday.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Suicide is never the answer, you gotta outlive your enemies.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Shouldn’t it have been called the ‘not answering machine’?

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Reddit:

Caveman bartender: “This one’s on the cave.”

Broadcasted on Messenger:

If we get invaded by space aliens, I am immediately defecting to the alien side. Sorry.

Going bananas on Discord:

Not now, I’m befriending a crow and teaching it how to deliver handwritten love notes.

Shared recently on Telegram:

My kidnappers sent me back early with a full apology, some money, and several of their fingers.

Just shared via Telegram:

Sorry I’m late. I was scraping the clearance tag off your Christmas present.

Trending via Discord:

I hate this time of year because all you guys care about is football, and no one wants to ogle my cleavage anymore.

Trending via Reddit:

Elevator music is bad on so many levels.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in a different realm.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Every time someone tries to fight with me online, a middle finger gets its wings.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I made coffee and carried it to the couch. I’ve done everything I had planned for this Sunday.

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