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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Life is short, flirt with me!

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

You either have a full ketchup bottle in your house or an almost empty one. There’s no in-between.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

You know what part I love about waking up? None of it. Let me sleep!

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

How do I get someone to unknow me? I no longer want to be known by these people.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

I’m on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

No one knows what I’m up to, not even me.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

They say you should dress for the job you want then send you home as “the stormtrooper suit is not appropriate work attire”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,901

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

Feels like if cicadas are allowed to just sit in a tree and scream, I should also be.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Can’t believe, as a kid, I thought 21-year-olds had their lives figured out.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I think during winter we should also get to work less hours in a day, just like the sun.

Spotted on Twitch:

The feminine urge to be the most feared witch in the village.

Shared recently on Discord:

I’ve never wrestled an angry alligator, but I have taken off a wet sports bra in the middle of summer. So, same thing.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

People who leave the blinds closed the entire plane ride: who hurt you?

Just shared via Telegram:

Sometimes I have to turn off the news and put on a true crime documentary, so I can relax.

Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Dear sleep, I'm sorry I left you for the snooze button this morning. Can we rekindle our relationship? 💔😴 #SleepIsBae"

apology, back, breakup, broke, desire, humor, i, morning, relationship, sleep, sorry, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

1 month ago
change, city, doors, driving, humor, pothole, radio, station, transportation
Just worked out for 2 hours straight and 1 hour gay.

1 month ago
1, 2, exercise, fitness, gay, hour, hours, humor, joke, just, straight, time, workout
“Are you dating anyone?” I close my eyes when I walk past mirrors.

1 month ago
anyone, close, dating, eyes, humor, i, mirrors, past, self-awareness, self-esteem, self-image, walk
My favorite part about talking to my teens is when they give me direct eye contact, listen intently, nod understandingly and then do the exact opposite of what I just said.

1 month ago
advice, communication, contact, contradiction, direct, eye, eye contact, favorite, frustration, give, humor, i, just, listen, listening, me, opposite, parenting, talking, teens, understanding
“Follow your heart,” as advice, is sort of like “abandon yourself to cognitive bias.”

1 month ago
advice, bias, cognitive, cognitive bias, decision, decision making, follow, heart, humor, making, self-awareness, sort, yourself
Go outside and let the rain do what your boyfriend can’t.

2 months ago
activity, boyfriend, fun, humor, let, nature, outside, rain, relationship, sarcasm

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Meetings are a wonderful way to help your employees take a break from being productive.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Sometimes the whole point of going out is to then really savor coming back home.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Unfollowing girls on Instagram as soon as they get a boyfriend is something I’ll never stop doing.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Find someone who cares about you as much as Gmail cares about new devices signing into your account.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Nothing is smaller than the X on ads to click them away.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

“I’m not ordering fries, I’ll just eat some of yours!” -Former friends of mine

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m terrified of escalators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

What’s said in the blanket fort, stays in the blanket fort.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Twitter is great because you can get good life advice from other emotionally unstable adults.

Making waves on Telegram:

Get off the apps. Sleep with someone in your friend group. Add an awkward tension every time you hang out with them.

Spotted on Discord:

Chuck Norris got shot. The bullet is in critical condition.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I woke up this morning and my hair looked like a Beatles lyric. Here, there, and everywhere.

Shared recently on X:

The cynicism of those who urge me not to do what I can to help the Nigerian royal family.

Just landed via YouTube:

Source? It was revealed to me on a walk.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

Just worked out for 2 hours straight and 1 hour gay.

“Are you dating anyone?” I close my eyes when I walk past mirrors.

My favorite part about talking to my teens is when they give me direct eye contact, listen intently, nod understandingly and then do the exact opposite of what I just said.

“Follow your heart,” as advice, is sort of like “abandon yourself to cognitive bias.”

Go outside and let the rain do what your boyfriend can’t.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Went jogging and came back after five minutes because I forgot something. Forgot I’m out of shape.

How am I supposed to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next.

Attention to detail is so sexy, study me, baby.

If cats could text you back, they wouldn’t.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Pluck a single eyebrow hair in 1994, and it never grows back. Pluck a single chin hair today, and it’s back with five friends by 6 p.m.

My five-year plan only requires a few acts of God.

When I’m not posting or returning messages, just know that I’m probably out doing superhero shit.

This is the wrong generation for people with an old soul.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

This is my phone. I text back when I want to.

I told a joke to my boss, and he must have found it really funny because now I get to tell it to HR.

Having a job ruined my life.

Blocking him isn’t enough. I want his favorite sports team to finish last every year for now and forever.

Stop making eye contact with me, I can’t afford a wedding right now.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I hate hotel bath towels. So thick and fluffy, I can’t even close my suitcase.

My body is 70% water and 30% tired of pretending I know what I’m doing.

Source??? Pattern recognition.

You can reach me by butterfly.

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Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

Just worked out for 2 hours straight and 1 hour gay.

“Are you dating anyone?” I close my eyes when I walk past mirrors.

My favorite part about talking to my teens is when they give me direct eye contact, listen intently, nod understandingly and then do the exact opposite of what I just said.

“Follow your heart,” as advice, is sort of like “abandon yourself to cognitive bias.”

Go outside and let the rain do what your boyfriend can’t.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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