Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I don’t know how to mop my kitchen floor without pretending l’m cleaning up a gruesome crime scene.
  • Introducing two cats is tedium. Not interested in your dumb politics just lick each other and be normal already.
  • Having children is a pyramid scheme.
  • Might mess around and reply to all work emails with “make me”.
  • My dog sighs a lot for someone who doesn’t pay any bills.
  • It’s amazing, when it’s your birthday you really feel the love from family, friends, lovers, former dentists, yoga studios and various smootheries.