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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

I miss being able to study with complete focus for hours. Now I read one sentence and check my phone to see if penguins have legs or just feet.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

I love jogging in this heat, cause the sweat hides my tears.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

I hate it when I check my transactions history, and everything adds up like damn, so no one stole from me.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m almost finished reading your tweet. Love it so far.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

How I clean my room: 1. Start in one corner. 2. Find something from six years ago and stare at it nostalgically for five hours. 3. Go to bed.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

I think something’s missing in my life… Like… 2-3 million dollars.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

It seems that after checking my bank account, I need to turn to a life of crime.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

The only way three people can keep a secret is if two of them are dead.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Ok, hear me out: a reality show where billionaire CEOs have to live off of their lowest-paid employees’ salaries for a month.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,744

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, “I drink it.”

Spreading quickly via Threads:

That uncontrollable urge to hurt myself and others when a film’s subtitles are slightly out of sync.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Penguins are just ducks going to a wedding.

Going viral on Telegram:

The egg doesn’t swim to the sperm, girl. Never chase a man.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.

Making waves on TikTok:

Blocking isn’t enough, I hope your pillow never has a cold side.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here plucking chin hairs.

Going viral on Reddit:

I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Friendly reminder that someone having a different opinion about a movie than you is a direct attack on you as a person and you should take it very personally.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Everyone’s a gangster until they see a rainbow.

Either you’re violently frolicking with me or you’re violently frolicking against me.

2 weeks ago

Witty and playful text about intense, humorous conflict or camaraderie.

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Commentary:
It seems like there's no middle ground when it comes to frolicking with you! 🤣🕺 Whether it's a chaotic dance party or an intense rivalry, you always bring that extra flair to the situation! 💥 Let's hope everyone can keep up with your energetic frolicking style! 🌟

activity, conflict, friendship, frolicking, fun, interaction, me, playful, violently

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Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m far too underqualified for adult life, and I feel like I was promoted to manager far too quickly.

92 shares on Telegram this month:

Men be like, “But I’m different.” Yeah, a different type of disappointment.

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When I tell my kids I’ll do something in a minute, what I’m really saying is “Please forget.”

73 shares on WeChat this month:

That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, knock over a lamp, and land on the floor.

44 shares on Facebook this month:

The problem with expensive things is that you tend to want them.

87 shares on TikTok this month:

The Epstein files are real, but they can’t figure out how to convert them to a PDF.

92 shares on Threads this month:

If I ever go missing, check the snack aisle. I’m probably just deciding.

56 shares on Twitch this month:

I assume fish have beautiful names for eachother, unpronounceable by human tongues.

38 shares on Threads this month:

If I ever go missing, promise me that you won’t put my weight on the poster.

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t get mad anymore. I’m just like “again?” Ok then.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s fun getting room service. I just love eating a $19 hamburger at a desk in front of a mirror.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off, I will do the same thing to your head.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t scare me. You’re not those two minutes when I can’t find my wallet.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Somebody needs to get my shit together.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I love one-pot recipes. So much less mess than when I was trying to cook things without a pot.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Wednesday is the part of the novel where the heroine stares out the window and questions everything.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not going to die because of an accident. Nor because of an illness. But from small talk. Someone will say one boring sentence too many and I’ll drop dead.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,523

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Just read the Ten Commandments for the first time and you can’t do shit with your neighbor.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

You’re so productive for your wage.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

What are y’all gonna do when those labubus come to life and start biting y’alls ankles?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Life is like a penis. Sometimes it’s up, sometimes it’s down. But it’s never hard forever.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Just because I can’t sing doesn’t mean I won’t sing.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Being able to notice that a celebrity unfollowed another celebrity is some seriously jobless behaviour.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

People in 1999 were using the Internet as an escape from reality. People today are using reality as an escape from the Internet.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Netflix had enough cash to buy Warner Bros., but cried poor when we shared passwords with our mom.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Kinda messed up that the government knows my birthday but never sends me a gift or anything.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

My rock bottom keeps refreshing.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

Spotted on Reddit:

Why steal office supplies from work when you could take an extra-long bathroom break and steal company time instead?

Just landed via Slack:

It’s amazing how so many people can rave about Star Wars or Star Trek and at the same time make sure that the only realistic future prospect is Mad Max.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Picking up the hem of my baggy pants to walk up the stairs like it’s a ballgown.

Breaking via X:

Why is everyone mean to the kindest people for absolutely no reason?

Seen just now on Reddit:

Your child learning to say mommy is when your life begins and ends.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

It’s so important to have people in your life who expand your snack horizons.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Getting older is so fun. Your life goals slowly transition from things like ‘land a dream job’ to ‘successfully grow a cherry tomato.’

Trending via WhatsApp:

“You’ve changed!” Yeah, I don’t like you.

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