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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Just did my best horse impression and the doctor still won’t give me ketamine.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

God: “I don’t regret the Flood, but I do regret the Ark.”

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

If you take a social media sabbatical, don’t announce it. Just make your last post something fun like “I wonder if there’s a bear in this cave?”

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Hey, you wanna come to a wedding with me? You could be the groom.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

I love the idea of a fruitarian, just morally affronted that anyone could eat a baby spinach.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Alexa, turn off the planet.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Nobody cleans better than someone who’s pissed off.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

People who live in glass houses should install frosted glass around the toilet part.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

I’m so sick of these little 30-minute weekends.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

We often come across people in life who make us think: “Oh look, evolution takes a break too!”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

8 minutes ago

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

Just shared via Twitch:

I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

Going viral on Messenger:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past 2 years.

Spotted on YouTube:

Closing down one work tab every day until Christmas like a reverse advent calendar.

Making waves on Discord:

If you ever think you can solve a parenting problem by doing the opposite of what didn’t work last time, the universe will just be like “Lol, nice try, dummy!”

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Do beavers even know what they’re doing, or do they just see water flowing down a river and think, “Absolutely not”?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I have three kids. I should be terrified of sex.

Shared recently on TikTok:

No revenge, because I don’t even remember what happened.

Going viral on WeChat:

I regret to inform you that the secret to appearing well-read is to read.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

It’s important to get out of the house every once and a while to remind yourself of why you don’t go out.

Home » Funny 1999 Quotes

Funny 1999 quotes

New funny 1999 quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: I don’t wanna party like it’s 1999, I want to pay my bills like it’s 1999.

Commentary:
"Who needs to party like it's 1999 when you can pay bills like it's 1999? 💸💃 Priorities, people! Let's bring back the simpler times of dial-up internet and frosted tips while we adult like it's 1999! 📠💰"
6 months ago
Share →: I don’t want to party like it’s 1999, I want to go grocery shopping like it is.

Commentary:
Who needs a wild night out when you can get the excitement of scoring a great deal on avocados at the grocery store? 🥑🛒 Forget about dancing the night away, I'm ready to stroll down the aisles in style! Meet me at the produce section, it's where all the real action is happening. 🤣 #GroceryShoppingGoals

For even more funny 1999 quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny 1999 quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

8 minutes ago

3,426

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

I could easily win an Oscar, I just have other things going on right now.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them. They’re just looking for their brain.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

That moment when you clean the apartment and a year later everything is dirty again.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

My husband sure has a lot of opinions on which movie he’s gonna sleep through.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

I’m not old, I’m vintage.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

When someone says “I expected more of you”, I’m always like “well who’s fault is that?”

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

“Those tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Friends are God’s way of apologizing to us for our families.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Marriage is 33.3% hiding to eat snacks because you and your spouse are supposed to be on a diet.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

My neighbor won’t stop talking about his Rolex and I can’t believe someone stole it tomorrow.

Making waves on Threads:

I’m officially at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to go anywhere after work.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead.

Going viral on WeChat:

Note to self: just because it’s in the map app’s directions, doesn’t mean the road is paved.

Trending via Snapchat:

Breaking news: you’re way less interesting than you think you are.

Breaking via WeChat:

I have never “lit up a room” unless you count arson.

Going viral on Telegram:

Home is where you can walk around like a bum.

Shared recently on X:

I love my bodyguard. I would take a bullet for him.

Reported on Slack:

The concept of warding off vampires with crosses is so interesting to me. I wonder if it applies to any other religion or if they’re allergic to just Catholicism.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Needlenose in HR says we can’t use nicknames anymore.

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