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100 Funny after quotes

Trending Funny After Quotes 🔥

After my death, I’ll be very busy. The list of people to whom I want to appear as a ghost is getting longer every day.
Remember you are dust and, after you send this email, to dust you shall return.
The masculine urge to hitch your pants up after making a minor decision.
The lion does not concern himself with the few small drops of pee that got on his boxers at the urinal even after he did a few shakes to be sure.
Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.

More funny after quotes 👇

1 month ago
Share →: The lion does not concern himself with the few small drops of pee that got on his boxers at the urinal even after he did a few shakes to be sure.

Commentary:
🦁 "When you're the king of the jungle, a little sprinkle is just extra seasoning! 👑💦"
1 month ago
Share →: I deserve a dragon after all I’ve been through.

Commentary:
"When life gives you lemons, demand a dragon instead! 🐲🍋 #UpgradeTime"
1 month ago
Share →: Remember you are dust and, after you send this email, to dust you shall return.

Commentary:
"Just sent the email! Now let's hope I don't get carried away by a gust of wind. 💨📧😂"
1 month ago
Share →: Coming back to your own bed after a few days away is peak coziness.

Commentary:
"Ah, yes, my bed still recognizes me as its rightful owner after my vacation. 🛏️🙌😴 #HomeSweetBed"
1 month ago
Share →: Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.

Commentary:
"When you're so prepared, even your texts have a flight plan! ✈️📲😂"
2 months ago
Share →: They should invent a job that actually wants to hire you after you apply.

Commentary:
"Is there an app for instant approvals yet? Asking for a friend… and their resume. 🤔🧑‍💻📄"
2 months ago
Share →: It’s curious how kids are always really hungry right before dinner and right after dinner, but never during actual dinner.

Commentary:
Ah, the mysterious phenomenon of the ever-hungry, elusive dinner-time child 🤔🍽️! It's like they possess a magical stomach that only grumbles at the most inconvenient times. Maybe we should start serving appetizers during the main course to keep them satisfied! 🤣 #KidsAndTheirHungryWays
2 months ago
Share →: My favorite military tradition is asking someone what an acronym means right after they use it, and they don’t know what it means.

Commentary:
Ah, the classic military acronym mystery – it's like cracking a code during every conversation! 🕵️‍♂️🤔 Maybe next time we can throw in a prize for the most creative acronym guess! 🏆😂
2 months ago
Share →: Pinterest algorithm is like a loving dad who fills the whole fridge with oranges after seeing you enjoy one.

Commentary:
Oh, Pinterest algorithm, you generous soul! 🍊🧡 Like a dad on a mission to make you into a human orange, one pin at a time! 🤣👨‍👧 Who needs variety when you can have a fridge full of oranges, am I right? 🍊🤷‍♂️ Keep those virtual citrus wonders coming, dear algorithm! 🧡👏 #OrangeOverload #PinterestDadGoals
3 months ago
Share →: They should name a personality disorder after me.