Funny audience quotes

• 

  4 days ago

  Share →: Tweeting with no audience feels like screaming jokes into a cornfield.

  Commentary:
  Screaming my best jokes to corn stalks, at least they won’t judge or boo me! 🌽😂📢

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: I laugh at my own jokes because I am my target audience. Y’all just happen to be there.

  Commentary:
  That’s the ultimate self-love move—who needs an audience when you’ve got your own comedy club? 😂👏 Whether I’m cracking myself up or you’re just “happening” to be there, I’ve got the best jokes in town! 🎤🤪 Keep laughing, folks!

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: And are the people who find you “hilarious” in the room with us now?

  Commentary:
  "Oh, so the people who find you 'hilarious' must be on a lunch break or stuck in traffic 🤔🚗. Let me know if you want me to call them in for some comic relief! 😄"

• 

  Jan 25, 2025

  Share →: I’m not starting a presentation with “ladies and gentlemen”, I’m using the gender neutral “to those who heed my warnings”.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs 'ladies and gentlemen' when you can kick off your presentation with a bang by summoning the mighty souls who heed your warnings? 🌟💼 Talk about setting the tone! 👏 #GenderNeutralGoals"

• 

  Jan 23, 2025

  Share →: When I tell a joke that doesn’t land, I follow up with a worse one to make my audience realize how good they had it with the first joke.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic 'joke rescue operation' strategy! 🚨 When one-liners crash-land, deploy the backup puns for that extra turbo boost of laughter 😂. Who knew bombing could be so entertaining? 💣✨"

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