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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Imagine hating me while I’m just over here being lazy and minding my own business.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Roadtripping with my family has taught me that my marriage can withstand anything except roadtripping with my family.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Did you know on the Canary Islands there is not one canary? And on the Virgin Isles? Same thing – not one canary there either!

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

I ran out of toilet paper so I had to start using old newspapers. The Times are rough.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

We all just kind of accept it as normal that we have a meat tentacle living inside of our mouth.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

“New recipe” is code for “less content, but worse ingredients”.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry I lied to you. I only did it for material gain. And to cause you psychological harm. And to prove I’m smarter than you.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

There are 8 billion people in the world and I only have 3 friends, and one is annoying.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

52 minutes ago

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Sometimes I want to sleep, but my brain decides to do a little tap dance through every mistake I’ve ever made, instead.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Taking action is my least favorite thing to take.

Making waves on Threads:

Sorry I’m late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.

Making waves on Instagram:

Women are like a fitted sheet. No matter what you do or how hard you try, they just never seem to cooperate.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times. You know, just to be sure.

Just landed via X:

I’ve got to start taking better care of myself. Tomorrow I’ll walk to the liquor store.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Very disappointed to find out that the universal remote control I bought does not control the universe.

Making waves on Threads:

No one is more stressed than someone who has seen their potential and knows they aren’t living up to it.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?

Home » Funny Ballistic Quotes

Funny ballistic quotes

New funny ballistic quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: Going ballistic. Anyone need anything?

Commentary:
"Watch out, we've got a ballistic overachiever on the loose! 🚀 Better take cover before they launch into a shopping frenzy. Anyone need a helmet or some extra ammo for their shopping cart? 😂💥"

For even more funny ballistic quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny ballistic quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

52 minutes ago

3,442

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

I don’t carry my wallet to work because I’m afraid someone will steal it while I’m sleeping.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Ever read something so magnificently stupid that you have to just stare into space for a little while and reconcile with your brain for having been subjected to it?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

The 80s were wild, man. You had bands naming themselves after predatory cats with hearing problems.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

It seems that after checking my bank account, I need to turn to a life of crime.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

College is literally just you, your laptop, and your water bottle against the world.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Why is everything 10x better at night? Driving, showering, eating, vibing to music, watching Netflix… phone calls. Like, everything.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Throwing a spear at your enemy is a bad gamble. If you miss, you have no spear now and he’s just fine. He’s better than fine; now he has a spear.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

I am a fool everyday, I don’t need a holiday for it.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

If every day is a gift, today is socks.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, if you could take some stuffing out of the midsection and give it a little forehead kiss, that would be great.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

Going viral on Facebook:

Starting is the hardest part. Unless it’s eating chocolate. Then stopping is the hardest part.

Making waves on WeChat:

Google Maps should start screaming the more wrong turns you make.

Making waves on Facebook:

Me, first week as a volunteer firefighter thinking we only rescue cats: We’re going where?

Trending via Twitch:

I wonder if people that fall asleep right away know that we hate them.

Shared recently on WeChat:

“Are you ok?” Of course not. Next question!

Spotted on Pinterest:

“Out of sight, out of mind” doesn’t work for donuts.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Nobody says “boom shakalaka” like they used to.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I am not in a good place, geographically.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Being famous on social media is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s not real, so calm down.

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