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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Salt and pepper shakers add an air of mystique to any bathroom.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

I threw a ball for my dog. May be a little extravagant, but he looks great in a tux.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Twitter is an abusement park.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

“How would you describe yourself.” Me: I absolutely would not.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

I quit boxing the moment I realized my opponent was allowed to punch me in the face, too.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

I only obey the traffic rules to get on other peoples’ nerves.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

I had an irrational fear of bees until I saw My Girl and it became rational.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Giving every single movie I watch a five star review because it’s just such a joy to be alive.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

One of the top features of squirrels, for me, has got to be that squirreliness.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you be able to, with a straight face, order a McWiener and tell them to supersize it?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

31 minutes ago

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Discord:

I am grateful for my experiences. I just didn’t need them all.

Just landed via Slack:

Unfortunately, the movie you want to watch is unavailable on your 13 streaming services. You can rent it for $2.99 though.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’m like 2% cute and 98% ugly.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Seven wives and no alcohol? No thanks, Mormons.

Seen just now on Instagram:

If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s being annoyed by stupidity.

Live now on Threads:

Sunday night: Super Bowl party! Monday morning: Toilet Bowl party!

Breaking via Telegram:

In a relationship with my heated car seat.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

“We told you to stop at 2012!” – The Mayans

Breaking via Reddit:

Love crawling into bed like it’s a spa retreat, only to wake up like I survived a bar fight.

Just landed via Messenger:

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

Home » Funny Best Quotes » Page 11

103 Funny best quotes

More funny best quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you.

Commentary:
"Best friends are like undercover agents willingly exposing themselves to the madness 😜🕵️‍♂️ No matter how many crazy antics you pull, they've got your back – and maybe a straightjacket just in case! 🤪🤝 #FriendshipGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: Every time your mom tells you that she wants the best for you, she is talking about me.

Commentary:
"Sounds like someone's throwing some major 'Mom shade'! 💁‍♀️😂 Looks like we've got a secret competitor for the 'Parent of the Year' title! 🏆 #MomVsYou"
6 months ago
Share →: Dogs are man’s best friend because a dog would never blindside you with a group chat.

Commentary:
"Who needs group chat drama when you can have a loyal dog who cuddles you instead? 🐶💬 No sudden notifications, just unconditional love! 🐾 #DogIsMyBestFriend"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

31 minutes ago

3,439

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Just saying “Think about it!” is enough to overwhelm many people these days.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

When you’re two beers in, and you realize she looks like God.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

The echo in my house when it’s clean is unsettling. Better order more stuff.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

You can’t boss me around. You’re not my bladder.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Call your family now and ask them what the wifi password is, so they have time to find the little paper it’s written on before Thanksgiving.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

In my experience, bowling and pancakes have the same energy. High hopes at the beginning, lowered self-esteem at the end.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

The inventor of archery: Man, I really wanna stab that guy over there.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Moose would have been a better name for a cow.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

My hobbies include adding things to my cart, and never buying them.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

I bought a watermelon and all I can think about is filling it with vodka.

Making waves on Discord:

I think it’s time we acknowledged how incredibly stupid most super wealthy people are.

Just landed via Reddit:

You can’t hurt me. You’re not how I look first thing in the morning.

Shared recently on Instagram:

That pen in the junk drawer that hasn’t been used in four years picked today to have an attitude.

Live now on Pinterest:

When my husband says, “Let me ask my wife,” he’s just using me as an excuse to get out of whatever you’re asking him to do.

Just shared via Telegram:

I’m not easily offended, but I am easily annoyed.

Just landed via YouTube:

I am in favor of equal pay for men on OnlyFans.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

Making waves on X:

I don’t mind being the villain in your story because you’re a clown in mine.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.

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