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25 Funny birth quotes

New funny birth quotes 👇

  • Male birth control is free, and it’s called wearing Crocs with socks.

    Commentary:
    “When your footwear says ‘I’m not a dad, but I play one on the weekends’ 🤣🧦👞”

  • When I say “the other day”, it can be anytime between yesterday and my birth.

    Commentary:
    Ah, the infamous “other day” — basically the RSVP of time references! 🎉🗓️ It’s like saying “soon” or “let’s do it sometime,” which really means “whenever I remember or feel like it.” 😂 So next time someone drops the “other day” bomb, just prepare for a timeline that stretches from yesterday to the dawn of humanity! 🕰️⏳ Talk about a flexible schedule!

  • My birth year getting a lil too far on those lil scroll lists. I don’t like that.
  • When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor got slapped.

    Commentary:
    🤣 When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor probably thought he was delivering a roundhouse kick instead of a baby! 💥👶 #ChuckNorrisFacts

  • Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

    Commentary:
    “Whenever I walk into a room, the urge to use birth control suddenly skyrockets! 🚫👶😆”

  • My first mistake of my life was my birth.

    Commentary:
    Ah, the ultimate throwback to hindsight humor! It seems like someone had a rough start from day one, but hey, at least they didn’t make the same mistake twice… or did they? Birthdays must be a real blast for this person, huh?

  • Fun fact: Malcolm X was not his birth name. He was originally Malcolm Twitter.

    Commentary:
    “Ah yes, Malcolm Twitter – bringing social justice one tweet at a time! Who knew a name change could lead to such a revolutionary transformation?”

  • Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

    Commentary:
    Oh, the struggle of centaur infants – born with a split personality! 🐴👶 Just imagine the chaos as the bipedal bottom half goes trotting off while the upper half is just trying to figure out this whole “neck control” thing. It’s a literal case of “getting your legs under you!” 🤣 #CentaursGotCentaurProblems

  • Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.

    Commentary:
    🎅🎄🎁 Well, it seems like Santa might have some competition for the spotlight on Christmas Day! Forget Jesus, it’s all about the jolly old man in red, am I right? Who wouldn’t want to celebrate the birth of the merry gift-giver himself? Looks like Santa’s sleigh is pulling ahead in this festive race! 🤣 #SantaClausIsComingToTown

  • Of course there’s birth control for men. It’s called the way they act.

    Commentary:
    “Who needs a pill when you have the ultimate contraceptive right in front of you – their behavior! 🙅‍♂️😂 Let the man-child shenanigans reign as the ultimate birth control method!”

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