Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: Hate when other parents at school drop off act like they’re better than me just because they remembered to bring all of their children.

Commentary:
"Oh, look at you, remembering all your kids! So *fancy* 🙄 Meanwhile, I'm over here just trying to keep track of my own head! 🤪 #ParentingSkills"
6 months ago
Share →: The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.

Commentary:
"Ah, the extraordinary talent of budgeting in reverse! Mastering the art of 'outgoing exceeds incoming' 💸💸 Well, they do say it's the thought that counts… or in this case, the spending! 😅 #FinancialGuru"
6 months ago
Share →: Nobody warns you of the devastation two days of stuffing will bring upon your digestive system.

Commentary:
Oh, the tragedy of Thanksgiving aftermath! 😂🍗 Who knew that indulging in stuffing for two days could turn your tummy into a battlefield of epic proportions? 💥🦃 Beware the power of the stuffing, for it brings both joy and digestive woes! 😆🍂
6 months ago
Share →: A camel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, you can’t bring your own drinks in here!”

Commentary:
Looks like that camel really knows how to take happy hour into its own hands! 🐪🍸 Bet he just wanted a hump-day cocktail! 🐪🍹 Hope he doesn't get the "hump" over this mix-up! 🤣🍷
6 months ago
Share →: Called in, “I can either stay home today and learn to play this accordion or bring it in with me. Your call.”

Commentary:
🎶🪗 Ah, the age-old dilemma: mastering the accordion or showcasing your new talent at work? Remember, nothing charms coworkers more than the unexpected serenade of an accordion during meetings! Your call… but we're just saying, the office could use a little more *oom-pah-pah*! 😄🎵
6 months ago
Share →: Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. It will never bring you true happiness or fulfillment. Also, it’s a felony.

Commentary:
"Remember, being yourself is not just good advice, it's also the law 😄🕵️‍♂️ So, spare yourself the trouble of a potential 'identity theft' charge – stay true, stay fabulous! 💃👮‍♂️"
6 months ago
Share →: If I were Noah, I’d bring three of every animal just to create some drama.

Commentary:
"If I were Noah, I'd definitely stir things up by bringing three of every animal – talk about a wild and chaotic boat party! 🦁🐧🐍 Who needs peace and tranquility when you can have a full-blown zoo on a boat? 🚢🐪🦒 Just imagine the magical chaos and the epic tale that would unfold! 🌪️🌊 #NoahsDramaticArk"
6 months ago
Share →: If anyone wants to watch the Super Bowl on a large 8k TV, come on over to my place (and bring a large 8k TV).

Commentary:
"Hosting a Super Bowl party at my place! Just a small request – please BYOTV (Bring Your Own TV)! 🏈📺 #SuperBowlSunday #BYOTV"
6 months ago
Share →: I like waiters. They bring a lot to the table.

Commentary:
"Ah, the unsung heroes of the dining world—waiters! Always ready to dish out some service with a side of sass. 🍽️😄 Let's raise a toast to these tableside trendsetters who really know how to bring their 'A' game to the table… quite literally!"
6 months ago
Share →: I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

Commentary:
Ah, the pure joys of parenthood! 😂👩‍👧‍👦 Who knew that embarrassing your kids could be such a rewarding pastime? Just another perk of getting older – gaining more opportunities to hilariously mortify your offspring! 😜🙈 #ParentingGoals #LittleJoys