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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Why are people always so scared of self-checkouts when shopping? It’s much quicker and you always get something for free.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

“Gravy is not a beverage.” Okay, well that’s why I was trying to drink it in the bathroom, so you wouldn’t see me.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

If the USA is so great, why did someone make the USB?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

The fact that someone looked straight at a purple onion and named it red onion really bothers me.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

You ever get surprised by your own recurring issues? Like, come on man, I thought we were past this.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I named my wifi “The Promised LAN” because it always connects, but occasionally leaves you wandering in the desert looking for a better signal.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

There’s nothing like sitting by an open fire and watching the evidence burn.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

I suck at flirting. I’ll be like “is that so?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

If you’re in first class on a flight, sometimes they upgrade you to captain.

Going viral on Discord:

I think I’m closer to retirement than to a relationship.

Just landed via Twitch:

I deserve a treat when I have a bad week, but I also deserve a treat when I have a good week. I simply always deserve treats.

Breaking via Slack:

Adulting has stunned me into silence. I have no thoughts, no remarks and no commentary at the moment.

Seen just now on Facebook:

My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

Just landed via Reddit:

The Welsh language was invented by a dad losing at Scrabble.

Making waves on Facebook:

You know it’s bad when people start telling you, you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Bitcoin is just Kohl’s Cash for boys.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Anyone know if we got the meek inheriting the Earth today?

Funny car window quotes

Funny car window quotes bring a splash of humor to your daily drive 🚗😂 Whether you’re stuck in traffic or cruising down the highway, these witty sayings turn heads and spark smiles 😎✨ Ready to roll with laughter and make your ride unforgettable? Buckle up, because these cheeky lines are about to brighten your journey! 🚘🎉

New funny car window quotes 👇

All funny car window quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on WeChat this month:

Having a cat is like having a roommate that doesn’t want to hang out and never intends on being friends.

86 shares on X this month:

The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

73 shares on YouTube this month:

Telling my guitar to “stay tuned”.

30 shares on Messenger this month:

I have a condition where if I don’t walk as fast as humanly possible wherever I go, I will die. I’m like the bus in Speed.

48 shares on Instagram this month:

We can do things two ways. My way or the right way.

56 shares on WeChat this month:

If a government has online beef with a pop star, it has already lost.

11 shares on YouTube this month:

We got our carpet cleaned today, so I’m just waiting for the dog to throw up.

15 shares on Facebook this month:

My dad must pay my monthly cell phone bill as atonement for his original sin of creating my consciousness.

48 shares on Slack this month:

Don’t be afraid to ask questions during a job interview. It’s the best way to find out if the person you’re interviewing is a good candidate for the job.

65 shares on Facebook this month:

My back hurts too much to lean over anymore, going to have to resort to picking things up with a deep curtsy.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting well wishes for Christmas.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Men don’t eject their eyes from their sockets and yell awooga anymore.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Most meetings end with the conclusion that everything needs to be discussed in another meeting.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m like the Temu version of a well-functioning adult.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I have the patience of a nearly ripe avocado.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I touched grass today, and I’m still like this. Please advise.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I see posts like, “If food is too expensive, just grow your own.” Okay, Einstein, why didn’t I think of that?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Might start signing off emails with, “But what do I know.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,422

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

It’s amazing how much I accomplish around the house right before someone is coming over.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

“Jump to Recipe” is the closest we’ll ever get to teleportation.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

I’m afraid that AI will quickly realize that the biggest problem on Earth is humans – and then solve the problem.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

I’m not afraid of ghosts because everyone who’s mad at me is still alive.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

I’m at the age where I can remember things that never happened.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Scrolling should count as cardio.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

I forgot to sweep up some crumbs earlier, and I just heard an ant moaning in pleasure as he discovered the bounty.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Just pulled a Werther’s Original out of my pocket, like I’m 87 years old.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

When I get married, I want my wedding video to be filmed like it’s an episode of The Office. I want camera zooms, eye contact, side commentary— all of it.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

You can’t scare me; you’re not my credit card bill.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WeChat:

I will marry a man who treats me delicately as if I’m a gift straight from heaven.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Driving to work, and I just reached down to touch my leg to make sure I have pants on.

Spotted on Reddit:

Born to say “Who the hell raised you to be this stupid.” Forced to work in groups.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Which one of you shrunk all of my jeans?

Seen just now on X:

When God closes a door, he opens a window. Unfortunately, we are in a submarine.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.

Freshly posted on Slack:

The hottest I ever look is when I’m brushing my teeth in my underwear, but it’s very much a ‘tree falls in the woods’ situation.

Just landed via TikTok:

This meeting should’ve been a fist fight.

Freshly posted on Discord:

What is rizz if not swag persevering?!

Shared recently on Slack:

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a tweet or a close friends story.

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