53 Funny children quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Studies show that 100% of all parents think alcohol tastes much better after spending the day with children.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the magical transformation of wine from 'mommy juice' to 'daddy's little helper' after a day of parenting mayhem 🍷👨‍👩‍👧‍👦💫 #Parenting101 #BottomsUp"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Grandmas be like: Imma stay for a few days and reset your children back to factory settings.

  Commentary:
  "Grandmas swooping in like tech-savvy wizards, ready to reset those mischievous children back to 'factory settings' 🧙‍♀️🔮 Say goodbye to the chaos and hello to a peaceful household once again! 💫✨ #GrandmaMagic #TechSupportGrandma"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the intricate art of dad lecturing – where enthusiasm meets obliviousness in a battle of wills! 🤓👧👦 Stay strong, dads, your wisdom may fall on deaf ears now, but one day they'll appreciate your niche expertise… maybe. 😉📚 #MasterOfDadJokes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I am the proud father of two content providers. I mean children. Two children.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the joys of modern parenting! From content providers to children in the blink of an eye 👶📱 Who knew raising kids could be so tech-savvy? 😂 #ProudParentingMoment"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the ultimate retirement plan – moving in with your successful kids! 🏠💸 Just make sure they have a big enough couch for you to crash on! 😜🛋️"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Having children is a pyramid scheme.

  Commentary:
  "Having children is basically signing up for a lifelong pyramid scheme where the 'investment' keeps growing… in toys, clothes, and college tuition! 🧸👶💸#Parenting101"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Stranger: Your children are angels. Me: So was the devil.

  Commentary:
  "Stranger: Your children are angels. 👼 Me: So was the devil. 😈 Who says innocence can't be mischievous!?"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the elusive perfect parent – armed with a library of child-rearing books but not a diaper in sight! 📚💁‍♂️ Who needs real-life experience when you've got all the theories, right?! 😂 #ParentingGoals"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Whenever I have a headache, I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle.

  Commentary:
  "Sound advice: Take your medicine and avoid mini humans – nobody wants a headache, especially not from mischievous kiddos! 🤕💊👶"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they’re the ones who can sign you into a home.

  Commentary:
  "Remember, kids have the power to choose your retirement location 🏠👵👴 Best to butter them up with kindness and love now while you still have a chance! 😄 #FutureRoommateSelectors"

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