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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Siblings are proof you can love someone and also dislike them at the same time.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

It’s called shitposting, Your Honor. You should try it sometimes; it’s liberating.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

3 friends is enough. 1 for the movie theater, 1 for drinks and apps, 1 for texting concerning mental health information.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

During winter, it’s either lazy starvation or eight thousand calories in one sitting.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

At the Pride and Prejudice showing booing whenever Prejudice comes on screen.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Youngest siblings are literally weaponized incompetence, final boss.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

The more water you drink, the more bathroom breaks, the less you work. Stay hydrated.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

No longer praying on your downfall. I will be directly involved.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

I always set two alarms, one for “Good Intentions Me” and one for “The Real Me”

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Growing up means choosing cozy couch moments over crowded club scenes. Cheers to adulting!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,531

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Reddit:

Sometimes being alive feels like being a pornstar who is asexual.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

Spotted on YouTube:

A good man is hard to find, but a babysitter for Friday night is harder.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Sometimes I clean my room so dramatically, it feels like I’m erasing evidence.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

The most expensive clothing you’ll ever wear is a hospital gown.

Seen just now on Discord:

If you like water, you already like 72% of me.

Just shared via Reddit:

Have you ever been in the car with someone who drives like we got extra lives?

Just landed via X:

I hate how l am a “I have an appointment at 4pm so I can’t do anything all day” type of person.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

That awkward moment when a zombie looking for brains walks right past you.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Grandparents are there to help the kids get into trouble and teach them stupid things they wouldn’t think of on their own.

Funny cocktail quotes

Funny cocktail quotes 🍸 bring a splash of humor to any happy hour! Whether you’re shaking up a classic margarita or stirring a fancy martini, these witty lines add extra flavor to your sips 🍹. Perfect for loosening up the vibe at parties or spicing up your captions, they remind us that laughter and cocktails make the best mix 🎉🥂. Cheers to fun, friends, and clever quips!

New funny cocktail quotes 👇

All funny cocktail quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on Twitch this month:

He’s making a list, he’s checking it twice, he’s leaving the store, he still forgot milk.

25 shares on TikTok this month:

Doing some skin care routine but my skin doesn’t care.

60 shares on Telegram this month:

Facebook: because time isn’t going to pass on it’s own.

100 shares on Twitch this month:

“Be the bigger person” sounds too much like “accept the disrespect”.

24 shares on Threads this month:

Went to the hairdresser today and now I look much younger. I’m thinking about going back tomorrow.

76 shares on Snapchat this month:

Everyone wants a drunk text until I’m doing it at noon.

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Wanna go back to my place and meow at each other?

92 shares on Messenger this month:

Was that meant to be a joke or did you just accidentally spill a bunch of words you were carrying around?

78 shares on Slack this month:

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

59 shares on Instagram this month:

Women will be like “I know a spot,” and then take you directly to hell.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t worry, nobody noticed the weird thing you did. They’re too busy with the weird thing you said.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

They say an apple a day keeps a doctor away. But what do I need to eat to keep everyone away?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe aliens don’t visit us because they’re all women and they want us to make the first move.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re telling me this moron’s on oxy.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Coworker: Hey, circling back on that thing we talked about in December. Me: Stop living in the past!

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Take a broken girl, fix her. And she will go back to the same guy again.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m capable of doing a lot of things but listening to people chew their food is not one of them.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The world started without permission again.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s not magic, but I bet you are reading this post with one leg on top of the other.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t date until the curse is lifted.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,507

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Men are only nice for 3 weeks, then surprise you with another personality.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Having a cat is like having a roommate that doesn’t want to hang out and never intends on being friends.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m at the age where I have to warm up first before jumping to conclusions.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

“It gets to a point” is one of my favourite phrases because it literally does get to a point sometimes.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

All the smart people at the office are worried about being replaced by A.I., but not me. I’m safe until they invent Artificial Stupidity.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Remember: The first step to recovery is addiction.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Fun fact: the creator of Barbie and the creator of Hot Wheels were husband and wife.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Not only is it not Friday, it’s not even Thursday.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

A hot tub is basically a big bowl of human soup.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.

Just landed via X:

I’m at the age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off.

Seen just now on Discord:

Tweeting with no audience feels like screaming jokes into a cornfield.

Spotted on Twitch:

Some people are so judgmental, I can tell by just looking at them.

Making waves on Telegram:

It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.

Shared recently on Discord:

I don’t understand the concept of “the man of your dreams”. Every time my wife wakes up after dreaming about me, she is really pissed off about something dream me did.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The fun thing about Airbnb is that you get to clean someone else’s house on your vacation.

Trending via Telegram:

Sometimes, I feel like I need love, but the moment I finish eating, I realize I was just hungry.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

The medicine for headache goes to the stomach to do what, exactly?

Live now on YouTube:

Introverts don’t recharge with sleep, we recharge by being left completely alone for 3–5 business days.

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