Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Twitter is basically a psychiatric ward where all the patients diagnose each other.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Get a puppy if you are in the market for a best friend who gets you up early so she can bite you excitedly.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

A Tinder type app, but it matches you with sandwiches.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Mr. Mixed Signals decided he likes me today.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

How many filters does it take before it’s technically a painting?

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Why aren’t we using these t-shirt cannons for burritos?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Brains are funny. I can remember every word to a song I haven’t heard in 20 years, but I’ve got no clue what my email password is.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Most of my exercise comes from getting up to let the cat in and out.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

I will die on this hill or any hill really. I have no hill preference.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Dec 23, 2025

3,942

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I hate when I forget to say something during an argument. Like, hey, let’s argue again, I got better material now.

Spotted on Twitch:

I’m so tired. Let’s see all of the horrible things happening in the world today before I try to sleep peacefully.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Why do coffee beans smell so good, and coffee breath is like bleh?

Making waves on Discord:

So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

Going viral on Reddit:

Tell me I’d look good in a potato sack or lose me forever.

Spotted on Reddit:

All the leaves are brown. And this guy is Greg.

Seen just now on Messenger:

They portray Pilates like it’s this cute girly thing and it’s actually training for combat.

Live now on Instagram:

Women are obsessed with Love Island, but when me and my boys do it in real life, we’re disgusting cheating dogs?

Just landed via Twitch:

Hmm, that’s a bit too harsh. Let me put “lol” at the end of it.

Home » Funny Cocktail Quotes

Funny cocktail quotes

Funny cocktail quotes 🍸 bring a splash of humor to any happy hour! Whether you’re shaking up a classic margarita or stirring a fancy martini, these witty lines add extra flavor to your sips 🍹. Perfect for loosening up the vibe at parties or spicing up your captions, they remind us that laughter and cocktails make the best mix 🎉🥂. Cheers to fun, friends, and clever quips!

New funny cocktail quotes 👇

Cocktails can be tricky, because they taste like juice, but then the next thing you know… you can’t walk.

0

1 month ago

alcohol, cocktail, cocktails, drink, humor, juice, know, next, party, taste, thing, tipsy, tricky, walk, walking
Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.

0

1 month ago

another, cocktail, date, draft, flirtation, gaze, God, humor, lit, lust, need, playful, romantic, sin, witty
I hope “be the light you want to see in the world” doesn’t refer to Molotov Cocktails.

0

2 months ago

cocktail, hope, humor, i, irony, light, molotov, Molotov Cocktail, want, world
When I was a kid I thought shrimp cocktails had alcohol in them and I thought it was such a weird way to get drunk.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, childhood, cocktail, drunk, humor, i, kid, misunderstanding, shrimp, thought, weird

All funny cocktail quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on X this month:

How soon into a new relationship should you let her know you’re an idiot?

95 shares on Messenger this month:

The void screams into me.

92 shares on WeChat this month:

She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

46 shares on Messenger this month:

Are you just gonna go with the flow until you spiral down the drain?

47 shares on Telegram this month:

What doesn’t kill you gives you a twisted, dark sense of humor.

53 shares on Telegram this month:

Spent most of the day making sure the couch still works. So far so good.

83 shares on Telegram this month:

If I say, “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared peer-reviewed research, data, and charts, and I will destroy you.

79 shares on Messenger this month:

Christmas bonus so small you have to call your bank and ask “is it in yet?”

41 shares on Slack this month:

My therapist said cutting people off isn’t healthy. She’s next.

47 shares on Facebook this month:

For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst person to share a room with is someone who puts on 10 alarms 2 mins apart each, and wakes up at none.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My cats won’t talk to me because I came home late from work.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Be the nonsense you wish to see in the world.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

No, I mean, it’s great toast. I just didn’t expect it to be French.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I failed as a person; I’m a dinosaur now.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot — and then boom, it’s a motorcycle.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Taking a sip of beer and letting out a big “ahhhh” so the pregnant lady at the pool next to me knows what she’s missing.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss when we didn’t know what celebrities thought about anything.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The real flex is becoming the woman he cannot run back to.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Your problems are neither sexual nor spiritual, they are gastrointestinal.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

4,064

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

When I bark at a dog, I always worry that I might have inadvertently said something wrong.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Crazy how many organs in your body are dedicated to the poopification of dinner.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Oasis didn’t just write good songs. They wrote the soundtrack for a whole generation.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Spent 20 minutes training ChatGPT to write the perfect anniversary note for my wife, so don’t try to tell me I’m not romantic.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Good morning. I’m ready for attention now.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

I like my men like I like my coffee, secretly alcoholic.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Do you say “Excuse me” to your pet when you walk by them, or are you rude?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

I noticed my mouse problem is back an I yelled at my cats for being lazy and not doing their job, like I was in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

The sexual tension between me and the alternate reality I daydream about.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

Where do I sign up to be one of those influencers with 2M followers whose whole thing is just standing in front of other people’s content and nodding?

Shared recently on Telegram:

Think like a crazy person, and then you’ll understand.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Staring at the sky for answers, nothing new.

Just shared via Messenger:

The main reason I got divorced was cause I got married.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I’m an over-explainer (I explain things too much).

Just shared via Twitch:

I swear, if my memory was any worse, I could plan my own surprise party.

Making waves on Snapchat:

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I hate when I go to the kitchen looking for food, and all I find is ingredients.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Welcome to your 40’s: you get excited about avocados now.

Just shared via WeChat:

If anyone wants to sponsor me, I’ll be running a 0.002K this weekend to raise awareness for laziness.

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