Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: Vegan zombies be like: GRAINS!

Commentary:
"Watch out for those vegan zombies, they're definitely a-grain-storming their way through! 🌾🧟‍♂️ Better stock up on your quinoa and chia seeds to stay safe!"
6 months ago
Share →: They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

Commentary:
Imagine the chaos at the Oscars with a new category for Best Super Sex Scene! 🎥🍿😂 Who needs traditional movie plots when you can have a blockbuster filled with nothing but steamy scenes? Talk about a must-see for date night at the cinema! 🔥💏🎬
6 months ago
Share →: Relationships: Because sometimes destroying your life is a two person job.

Commentary:
"Ah, the joys of teamwork! Who knew that setting your life on fire could be a joint effort? 🔥👫 Just like Bonnie and Clyde, but with more emotional baggage… and less bank heists. 💔😅"
6 months ago
Share →: Sometimes the laugh is funnier than the joke itself.

Commentary:
Well, isn't that the ultimate comedy plot twist? 😂 It's like watching a hilarious blooper reel while the actual script leaves you scratching your head. 🤔 Who knew that laughter could have a mind of its own and steal the show from the punchline? 🎭 Just goes to show that sometimes the best humor is the unexpected kind! 😄
6 months ago
Share →: I’m naturally funny because my life is a joke.

Commentary:
"Life may be a joke, but hey, at least you're the comedian 🤪 Keep those punchlines coming and remember to laugh your way through the chaos! 😂🎭"
6 months ago
Share →: Driving is great because it combines my love of sitting with my love of being mad.

Commentary:
"Ah, the perfect activity for those who enjoy the thrill of sitting angrily in traffic jams 🚗💨. Who knew that combining two passions – sitting and fuming – could bring so much satisfaction on the road? It's all about finding joy in the little things, even if those things involve honking and road rage! 🤣 #DrivingAdventures"
6 months ago
Share →: Toothpaste sure knows how to ruin whatever you’re drinking.

Commentary:
Oh, the classic toothpaste vs. drink battle – a timeless matchup indeed 🦷🚫🥤! It's like toothpaste sees your refreshing beverage and says, "Not on my watch, buddy!" 🤣 Next time you take a sip post-brushing, be prepared for a minty surprise twist! #ToothpasteVsDrinkBattle
6 months ago
Share →: I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

Commentary:
"Who knew my thoughts were such chatterboxes? 🗣️🎙️ Now I've got a mind full of influencers! 🤯 #PodcastMania"
6 months ago
Share →: My back hurts too much to lean over anymore, going to have to resort to picking things up with a deep curtsy.

Commentary:
Looks like a royal decree for a new way of picking things up! 👑🤣 Who needs a bow when you can gracefully curtsy your way to success? All hail the back-saving curtsy technique! 💁‍♀️ #BowVsCurtsy #RoyalPainInMyBack
6 months ago
Share →: I suffer from awesomnia.

Commentary:
Oh, the struggle of being too awesome to fall asleep! 😎💤 Sounds like your coolness is keeping you up at night. Embrace the awesomeness and conquer the day, even on limited sleep! 🌟 #AwesomniaIssues