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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

In my defense, Your Honor, I was left unsupervised.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, phone, temper, and my mind.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Having a toddler is wild. I’m getting breaking news about Peppa Pig.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

I hope all of you get laid and not laid off this year. Amen.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

As a child, my family’s mealtime menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Girl, are you an Uber driver? Because you are driving me to drink.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

All I do is go to work, come home, blink and suddenly I’m back at work.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

768 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,930

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,930

Updated

51 minutes ago

Users Online

3,418

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via LinkedIn:

I wouldn’t describe myself as an “adult”, per se. More like a “long child”.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Does anyone know how to lower the difficulty setting on my life?

Seen just now on Facebook:

In filling out an application, where it says, “In case of emergency notify”, I put “Doctor.”

Trending via Facebook:

I get it dogs, I wish I could also bark at strangers approaching my house.

Trending via TikTok:

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

Spotted on Messenger:

Still writing the old year on all my ransom notes.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

No thank you, I only like men who have no interest in me.

Freshly posted on X:

Blocking isn’t enough, I hope your pillow never has a cold side.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Most people who have found themselves are amazed to discover that there is nothing there at all.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I don’t drink coffee all the time. I take breaks in between to make another one.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

768 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,930

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,930

Updated

51 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

I prefer the Easter Bunny, for starters, he’s not making a list and checking it twice, and more importantly, he’s not watching me when I’m sleeping.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

I don’t need to bring anything to a knife fight, because I don’t go to knife fights.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Forget sexy talk. I want breakfast talk. Describe those waffles to me nice and slow.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

I walked into a holiday party, saw someone else already playing with the dog, and realized they’d stolen my entire social strategy.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Most divorces are caused by a spouse eating potato chips while you try to watch TV.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

I only accept apologies in cash.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

If you did the weekend right, your coffee needs coffee today.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Watching women’s tennis and getting angry at the net. We shouldn’t put needless obstacles in the way of women.

Making waves on Telegram:

Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Why hasn’t Lululemon created a bra-line named Lulumelons?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Did you know 17 muscles are activated when you’re crying? Fitness is my passion.

Reported on Messenger:

It’s like ten thousand tweets when all you need is a life.

Trending via Twitch:

Kid, I have jeans older than you.

Just shared via Reddit:

It’s like 10,000 yawns when all you need is a nap.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Why would I spend money on the zoo when I can watch my colleagues for free?

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Unless I say otherwise, I am always tired.

Making waves on Pinterest:

There is always enough for the needy, there is never enough for the greedy.

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