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10,000+ funny quotes

33 Funny couch quotes

Funny couch quotes bring a playful twist to the comfort of your favorite piece of furniture! From witty remarks about lounging and relaxation to humorous takes on couch habits, these quotes capture the lighter side of enjoying your cozy spot. Enjoy a laugh and embrace the fun in your couch adventures!

4 days ago
View →: Can’t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.
4 days ago
View →: Judging by the hair on my couch, I’m surprised I have any cat left at all.
2 weeks ago
View →: The struggle to get off the couch and into bed is real.
3 months ago
View →: When Dr. Seuss wrote, “Oh, The Places You’ll Go,” he did not consider how comfortable my couch would be.
3 months ago
View →: A 12 step program but it’s just me getting off the couch.
3 months ago
View →: Spent most of the day making sure my couch still works. So far so good.
3 months ago
View →: My couch better stop looking at me like that, it knows exactly what it’s doing.
3 months ago
View →: Spent most of the day making sure the couch still works. So far so good.
4 months ago
View →: My favorite yoga pose is reaching for the remote control on the far end of the table without falling off the couch.
4 months ago
View →: Twitter is basically everyone’s therapist’s couch.
4 months ago
View →: I’m not lazy. I just give my couch the love it deserves.
4 months ago
View →: I was actually about to do a workout when the couch threw itself protectively under me.
4 months ago
View →: What’s wrong with the people who come to visit on Sundays? Don’t they have a couch?
4 months ago
View →: My life is ruined. I wish to live no more. Never mind, I found the remote.
4 months ago
View →: I’ve named my couch American Idle.
4 months ago
View →: I’m planning to save money on Christmas gifts this year by wrapping up all the toys my toddler dropped behind the couch.
4 months ago
View →: You want to go out in the sun and then you can’t get the couch through the door.
4 months ago
View →: Rich people don’t put their couches against their wall. I moved my couch into the middle of the floor and still haven’t gotten rich. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong here.
4 months ago
View →: If I’d married a wealthier man, I’d be lying on a fancier couch right now refusing to clean bigger rooms.
4 months ago
View →: Whoever’s been in charge of the weather for the last few weeks seems to have fallen asleep on the couch with the remote control in their hand.
4 months ago
View →: If stores want to accurately display clothes for people over 40, the mannequins should be laying on a couch.
4 months ago
View →: If you lift the cat off the couch and it sounds like Velcro, then it didn’t want to leave.
4 months ago
View →: I told my wife the laundry on the couch ain’t gonna fold itself, so if y’all don’t hear from me later, she probably folded me like an omelet.
4 months ago
View →: Remember when you were a kid, you slept on the couch and without saying anything you found yourself in your bed. Now you sleep in your bed and if you say anything, you end up on the couch.
4 months ago
View →: I was gonna get on the treadmill, but then the couch will get sad.
4 months ago
View →: Not all works of art are in a museum. I, for example, am lying on the couch at home.
4 months ago
View →: I made coffee and carried it to the couch. I’ve done everything I had planned for this Sunday.
4 months ago
View →: 30s: Oh look, a dance floor! 50s: Oh look, a couch!
4 months ago
View →: I made a clone of myself to do the dishes, another to do the laundry, and another to do the cooking, but we’re all sitting on the couch watching TV.
4 months ago
View →: You don’t scare me. You’re not the evil eye I get from my dog when I make him get up from the couch so I can lay down.

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