Funny Couch Quotes That Will Have You Laughing from Your Favorite Spot! 🛋️😂

I’m planning to save money on Christmas gifts this year by wrapping up all the toys my toddler dropped behind the couch.

2 months ago2 months ago

You want to go out in the sun and then you can’t get the couch through the door.

3 months ago2 months ago

Rich people don’t put their couches against their wall. I moved my couch into the middle of the floor and still haven’t gotten rich. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong here.

3 months ago2 months ago

If I’d married a wealthier man, I’d be lying on a fancier couch right now refusing to clean bigger rooms.

4 months ago2 months ago

Whoever’s been in charge of the weather for the last few weeks seems to have fallen asleep on the couch with the remote control in their hand.

4 months ago2 months ago

If stores want to accurately display clothes for people over 40, the mannequins should be laying on a couch.

5 months ago2 months ago

If you lift the cat off the couch and it sounds like Velcro, then it didn’t want to leave.

5 months ago2 months ago

I told my wife the laundry on the couch ain’t gonna fold itself, so if y’all don’t hear from me later, she probably folded me like an omelet.

5 months ago2 months ago

Remember when you were a kid, you slept on the couch and without saying anything you found yourself in your bed. Now you sleep in your bed and if you say anything, you end up on the couch.

5 months ago2 months ago

I was gonna get on the treadmill, but then the couch will get sad.

6 months ago2 months ago

Not all works of art are in a museum. I, for example, am lying on the couch at home.

May 20, 20242 months ago

I made coffee and carried it to the couch. I’ve done everything I had planned for this Sunday.

May 6, 20242 months ago

I like to push myself out of my comfort zone by sometimes sitting on the other end of my sofa.

Oct 4, 2023Oct 4, 2023

30s: Oh look, a dance floor! 50s: Oh look, a couch!

Sep 29, 2023Oct 11, 2023

I made a clone of myself to do the dishes, another to do the laundry, and another to do the cooking, but we’re all sitting on the couch watching TV.

Sep 29, 2023Sep 29, 2023

You don’t scare me. You’re not the evil eye I get from my dog when I make him get up from the couch so I can lay down.

Sep 22, 2023Sep 29, 2023

I’ll call it a smartphone when I yell “Where’s my phone?” and it yells back “Down here in the couch cushions!”

Sep 22, 2023Sep 29, 2023

Why does tiredness on the couch not follow me to the bed?

Sep 22, 2023Sep 29, 2023

I hate having a messy house. Not enough to actually clean it, but enough to give it a disgusted stare while I peacefully relax on the couch.

Sep 22, 2023Sep 29, 2023

When Dr. Seuss wrote, “Oh, The Places You’ll Go,” he did not consider how comfortable my couch would be.

Sep 22, 2023Sep 29, 2023

A 12 step program but it’s just me getting off the couch.

Sep 22, 2023Sep 29, 2023