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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

What if your dog one day just randomly said “Nobody is going to believe you” and never spoke again.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Growing up, I always knew I was gonna be the distant family member.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

I’m not lazy, I’m an inactivist.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

I like my Jims slim and my chances fat.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

After 25, you’re pretty much 30.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Yeah, I can explain that gap on my resume, I tried to move a picture in Word.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

“Girls just want to have fun!” No, I want one million dollars cash.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

You can fake a smile, but you can’t fake jazz hands.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Tuesday is no better than Monday.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

I want the job where I push scared skydivers out of planes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1989 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,151

Funny Quotes Topics

14,914

Funny Quotes Images

12,151

54 seconds ago

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

You are allowed to be crazy as long as you are equally as hot.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I’m going to become more attractive or more delusional; I haven’t decided yet.

Reported on TikTok:

I was disappointed to learn today that my request for a sabbatical was rejected. Apparently that’s “not how marriage works.”

Going viral on WhatsApp:

We need to stop making more Christmas music. We have enough.

Just shared via Instagram:

Why can’t men just call you pretty without wording it uncomfortably?

Spotted on X:

That moment when you finish watching a TV series and you don’t know what to do with your life any more.

Just shared via Twitch:

I’m too lazy to be a superhero. If I had laser eyes, I’d probably just use them to heat soup or something.

Spotted on Threads:

It took me 5 minutes to do something I’ve been stressing about for 6 months. I will learn nothing from this.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Sorry I was late, I was frantically applying to other jobs.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Haunted Houses this year are just gonna have the news on.

Home » Funny Date Quotes » Page 19

182 Funny date quotes

More funny date quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

Commentary:
Looks like those fruit flies were determined to buzz their way into a relationship, but unfortunately, their courting tactics might need a bit of fine-tuning 🍌🦟 At least they were committed to showing her some "a-peel", even if their methods were a bit unconventional! 🤣
6 months ago
Share →: Perks of dating me: you will be the hot one.

Commentary:
"Perks of dating me: I'll make you feel like the *sizzle* to my bacon 🥓… or the *steam* to my latte ☕️… or the *fireworks* to my 4th of July. Basically, I'll ensure you're the 'hot' topic wherever we go! 😎🔥 #sizzleandswag"

For even more funny date quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1989 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,151

Funny Quotes Topics

14,914

Funny Quotes Images

12,151

54 seconds ago

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Outfit repeater. Meal repeater. Movie rewatcher. I know what I like.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Age ceases to be just a number everytime the airline announces seating queue priority.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Don’t you hate it when you offer help and the other person says yes?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Can’t wait for my husband to see what he bought everyone for Christmas.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

After weeks of using an anti aging cream, I can now proudly say: I now have very well-maintained wrinkles.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

I think the real reason this generation is so angry is that their music sucks.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

When you tickle a man to death by accident, it is manslaughter.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

A massage is not enough, I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

You can’t boss me around. You’re not my bladder.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If only vehicles could be equipped with little blinky lights on the corners to alert other drivers the direction they wished to turn.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I’ve reached the age where I would rather go to a hardware store than a club.

Reported on WhatsApp:

All the wrong decisions in this country are based on the fact that my balcony faces out the back and so I can’t speak to the people.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Hide and seek, except it’s my husband searching for where he last put his pants.

Trending via Facebook:

I want to be cremated so that I will get a smoking-hot body again.

Shared recently on YouTube:

The worst part about being drunk and seeing double is when you realize it’s just one slice of pizza.

Going viral on Snapchat:

You gotta act cool, calm, and collected around liquid eyeliner because it can sense your fear.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

Just landed via Twitch:

If you watch soccer backwards, it’s about 11 sad and 11 happy men who nag each other until they get along eventually.

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