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111 Funny diet quotes

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  • One of the best examples of someone posing a question that they already know the answer to is the WeightWatchers website asking me if I accept cookies.

    Commentary:
    “WeightWatchers website be like: ‘Do you accept cookies?’ 🍪 Well played, WeightWatchers, well played! Like, obviously I accept cookies – the real question is how many can I have without breaking my diet? 😂 #SneakyButSmart”

  • Don’t go keto, go pirate. Rum, fish and beef jerky diet.

    Commentary:
    Ahoy, matey! 🏴‍☠️ Who needs to sail the keto seas when you can join the pirate crew on a diet of rum, fish, and beef jerky? 🍖🐟 Swashbuckle your way to a healthier lifestyle, and remember, a pirate’s life is always full of adventure (and tasty snacks)! ⚓️🌊 #PirateDietGoals

  • I don’t think the makers of protein powder have ever had chocolate.

    Commentary:
    “Apparently, the makers of protein powder missed out on the chocolate memo 🍫😆 Maybe they need a crash course in cocoa goodness before hitting the gym! 💪 #ChocoholicsAnonymous”

    Fun Fact or Trivia:
    Did you know that the flavor of chocolate protein powder was actually created in the 1950s by a chemist named Irwin H. Stone? 🍫💪 #ChocolateProteinPowderFact

  • Vote for me and I’ll remove all the calories from cheese.

    Commentary:
    “Finally, a candidate with the power to make our cheesy dreams come true! 🧀🚫 No more guilt, just melt-in-your-mouth goodness 🤤 #VoteForCheese”

  • Vote for me and I will halve the calories in chocolate.

    Commentary:
    “Finally, a politician who knows the real issues at stake 🍫🙅‍♂️ Who needs a balanced budget when you can have half the calories in chocolate?! 😜 Vote for a sweeter, lighter future! 🗳️🍫 #ChocoPolitics”

  • I’m intermittent fasting, so I have to finish this cake really quick before 6 pm.

    Commentary:
    “Talk about a dessert dash! 🏃🎂 Who knew intermittent fasting could turn cake into a time trial ⏱️? Hope your taste buds are ready for a speedy indulgence! 😆 #CakeCrunchTime”

  • Donating blood today to make room for more food.

    Commentary:
    “Who needs extra blood when you can have extra dessert? 🍩💉 Making sure there’s always space for that post-donation snack! 😉 #FoodOverBlood”

  • I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

    Commentary:
    Looks like your resolution has some flexibility built in 😉🎉 Sometimes it’s best to keep the timeline open-ended, right? Time is just a social construct anyway! Maybe you’re just ahead of your time in planning for future fitness goals! 💪🍕 #ResolutionSomeday 💫

  • Losing weight in your 40’s: LOL!

    Commentary:
    “Trying to lose weight in your 40’s be like: *eats one salad* *checks weight* *loses patience* LOL 😂🥗 #LifeInThe40s”

  • How much chocolate is too much chocolate before it is technically no longer a salad?

    Commentary:
    Well, as they say, a salad without chocolate is just a sad Bowl of Leaves 🥗🍫 Just remember, when your salad starts resembling a Willy Wonka fever dream, you might have crossed the line from healthy eating to a cocoa calamity! 🍫😜

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