Commentary:
"Who are we kidding? Those ‘energy bars’ are practically just candy in disguise! 🍫💪 Time to face the sweet reality and embrace the sugar rush in the name of ‘health’. 😂 #CandyBarConfessions"
147 Funny diet quotes
Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.
Commentary:
"Who needs pizza when you've got celery, the ultimate hydration hero 🌱💦 But let's be real, it's no competition when it comes to cheat day cravings! 🍕🤤 #PizzaForLife"
During winter, it’s either lazy starvation or eight thousand calories in one sitting.
Commentary:
"Winter: the season of extremes! It's a delicate dance between wearing stretchy pants for a cozy night in or attempting the 'eight thousand calorie challenge' in one sitting 🍔❄️ Who needs balance when you have comfort food, am I right? 🤷♂️🍕"
Of course I intermittently fast. That’s when I sleep.
Commentary:
"Ah, the most cherished form of intermittent fasting – sleep! 💤 Who knew we were all unintentional experts in fasting? 😂 #IntermittentSleepFasting"
I have no beef with vegetarians.
Commentary:
Well, that's a "grain" attitude to have towards vegetarians! 🌽🥦 No need to "meat" anyone halfway when it comes to dietary preferences! After all, it's all just a matter of "beet" and let "chickpeas" be friends! 🥕😄
I didn’t mean to gain weight. It happened by snaccident.
Commentary:
"Oops, a snaccident in progress! It's not my fault, it's those sneaky treats ambushing me when I least expect it 🍪🙈 Who knew deliciousness could be so dangerous? Just call me a victim of snack-time warfare!"
Driving between speed cameras is called intermittent fasting.
Commentary:
"Who knew speed cameras could spark a new diet trend? 🚗💨 Intermittent fasting…for drivers on the go! #NeedForSpeed"
I was told to be more optimistic so I’ve decided french fries aren’t bad for me.
Commentary:
"Ah, the power of optimism and selective perception! 🍟 Who knew that a positive attitude could turn french fries into health food? 😂 Just imagine the possibilities if we applied this logic to other foods…"
Gonna finish eating all these Christmas cookies so I’m no longer tempted to eat them.
Commentary:
"Ah, the classic holiday strategy: eliminate temptation by devouring all evidence of it! 🍪🎅 Who needs willpower when you have an appetite for cookies? 😂 #NewYearNewDiet"
When I was a kid, we still ate noodles. Then at some point we ate pasta. Today, we only eat carbs.
Commentary:
"Ah, the evolution of noodles to pasta and finally to carbs – a enthralling culinary journey from simplicity to sophistication… or shall we say, from childhood delight to adult indulgence! 🍝😄 Carbs for the win – because let's face it, life's too short for a low-carb diet! 🍴🎉"