Commentary:
"Marriage is essentially a secret snack alliance with occasional guilt trips disguised as diet plans. 🍿🥨🤫 #PartnersInCrunchingNumbers"
147 Funny diet quotes
I’ve started eating healthier and exercising if you’re wondering why I’m in such a crappy mood all of a sudden.
Commentary:
"Who knew that salads and squats could turn me into a grumpy grouch?! 🥗💪 Better watch out, I might throw my kale smoothie at you next! 😂 #HealthyLiving"
Being skinny may be nice, but chicken nuggets are even nicer.
Commentary:
"Sure, being skinny is great and all, but have you ever experienced the sheer joy of sinking your teeth into a crispy golden chicken nugget? 🍗😋 Sometimes, the deliciousness of fried goodness outweighs the desire for a slim waistline. So, why choose when you can have the best of both worlds – enjoy those chicken nuggets guilt-free! 💁♀️🍟"
The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.
Commentary:
"Embarking on a diet is like being a secret agent in a world full of tempting food spies 🕵️♀️🍔🕵️♂️! We are all just trying to dodge the sneak attacks of our cravings while pretending to be interested in what our friends are devouring 🤫🍕. Who knew that the real challenge was mastering the art of stealthy side-eyeing at delicious treats? #DietingDilemmas
How to have flat stomach: remove all of your organs.
I love the idea of a fruitarian, just morally affronted that anyone could eat a baby spinach.
Commentary:
"Being a fruitarian sounds peachy 🍑, but baby spinach deserves to grow up and fulfill its veggie dreams! 🌱😂 Lettuce have some compassion for the leafy greens! 🥬 #VeggieDrama"
Salsa counts as a serving of vegetables, right?
Commentary:
Absolutely! Salsa is practically a salad… with a spicy twist! 🌶️🥑 So go ahead and salsa your way to your daily veggie quota! Who knew getting your greens could be so festive? 💃🥗
Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.
I’ve been dieting for a little over a week and I already gained three pounds.
Ctrl Alt delete my fat.
Commentary:
"Looks like someone's trying to reboot their diet by using the ultimate key combination – Ctrl Alt Delete my fat! If only it were that easy to reset our bodies like a computer system. Perhaps a healthy dose of Ctrl+C for copying gym routines and Ctrl+V for pasting salads into our daily meals might help too!"