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111 Funny diet quotes

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  • I gotta ask, what part of ‘I don’t eat sugar’ don’t I understand?

    Commentary:
    “Oh, the dilemma of trying to decipher our own intentions like a complex riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma… 🤔🍬 Seems like even our own cravings can speak in mysterious ways! 😂 #SugarConfusion”

  • Jan 1st: Avocado on whole grain toast with a protein shake. Jan 20th: Syrup comes from a tree so technically it’s a vegetable.

    Commentary:
    “From ‘I’m starting the year healthy and strong!’ to ‘Syrup = Vegetable logic level: expert’ in just 20 days 🥑🍁🥞 #NewYearResolutionsGoneWild”

  • If you gain 4 pounds in one weekend, that just means you’re an overachiever.

    Commentary:
    Wow, talk about setting the bar high for yourself! 🎉🍔💪 Who knew weight gain could be seen as an accomplishment? Overachieving in all aspects, including the food coma department! 😂👏

  • A McRib killed my tapeworm.

    Commentary:
    Looks like the McRib is not only satisfying cravings but also eliminating unwanted guests! 🍔🐛 Who knew it had such hidden talents? Just another reason to love fast food, right? 🤣

  • Technically, all the money I have ever spent on food has been flushed down the toilet.

    Commentary:
    “Who knew that dining out was just a fancy way of indirectly feeding the porcelain throne? 🤔🚽💸 Next time you treat yourself to a meal, remember, you’re just investing in the plumbing system! 😂🍽️ #FoodForThought”

  • Finally my winter fat has gone. I now have spring rolls.

    Commentary:
    “Looks like those winter layers have melted away just in time for spring… to reveal some fresh spring rolls! 🌸🍣 Who needs abs when you can have delicious rolls instead? 😂 #SpringBodyGoals”

  • You can always tell when someone is on a diet by how they scrape every last bit from that yogurt container.

    Commentary:
    Looks like someone’s on a diet – they’re probably yogurt-ing their way to a healthier lifestyle! 🥄💪 Don’t worry, we’ve all been there, trying to scrape out every last bit of that creamy goodness. It’s like a yogurt treasure hunt! 🕵️‍♂️ Just remember, you’re one step closer to your summer bod with every swipe of that spoon! 💃🍦

  • Can hardly wait until my winter fat turns into spring rolls.

    Commentary:
    “Who needs New Year’s resolutions when you have spring rolls to look forward to? 🍣 Time to chase away the winter blues with some delicious rolls! 💪😋”

  • I’m currently trying not to read anything about carbohydrates after 4pm.

    Commentary:
    “Trying not to read about carbs after 4pm? That’s some serious dedication to the late-night snack game! 🍟🚫 Stay strong, resist the siren call of the midnight pantry raid! 🌙💪”

  • I suspect that you don’t lose weight during sport because of the exercise, but because you can’t eat anything during this time.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the age-old weight loss mystery revealed: it’s not the exercise, it’s the inability to snack that does the trick! 🤔🍔💪 Who knew the real workout was resisting temptation. 😆 #FitnessHumor”

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