116 Funny diet quotes

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5 months ago
Share →: Vote for me and I will halve the calories in chocolate.

Commentary:
"Finally, a politician who knows the real issues at stake 🍫🙅‍♂️ Who needs a balanced budget when you can have half the calories in chocolate?! 😜 Vote for a sweeter, lighter future! 🗳️🍫 #ChocoPolitics"
5 months ago
Share →: I’m intermittent fasting, so I have to finish this cake really quick before 6 pm.

Commentary:
"Talk about a dessert dash! 🏃🎂 Who knew intermittent fasting could turn cake into a time trial ⏱️? Hope your taste buds are ready for a speedy indulgence! 😆 #CakeCrunchTime"
5 months ago
Share →: Donating blood today to make room for more food.

Commentary:
"Who needs extra blood when you can have extra dessert? 🍩💉 Making sure there's always space for that post-donation snack! 😉 #FoodOverBlood"
5 months ago
Share →: I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

Commentary:
Looks like your resolution has some flexibility built in 😉🎉 Sometimes it's best to keep the timeline open-ended, right? Time is just a social construct anyway! Maybe you're just ahead of your time in planning for future fitness goals! 💪🍕 #ResolutionSomeday 💫
5 months ago
Share →: Losing weight in your 40’s: LOL!

Commentary:
"Trying to lose weight in your 40's be like: *eats one salad* *checks weight* *loses patience* LOL 😂🥗 #LifeInThe40s"
5 months ago
Share →: How much chocolate is too much chocolate before it is technically no longer a salad?

Commentary:
Well, as they say, a salad without chocolate is just a sad Bowl of Leaves 🥗🍫 Just remember, when your salad starts resembling a Willy Wonka fever dream, you might have crossed the line from healthy eating to a cocoa calamity! 🍫😜
5 months ago
Share →: I gotta ask, what part of ‘I don’t eat sugar’ don’t I understand?

Commentary:
"Oh, the dilemma of trying to decipher our own intentions like a complex riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma… 🤔🍬 Seems like even our own cravings can speak in mysterious ways! 😂 #SugarConfusion"
5 months ago
Share →: Jan 1st: Avocado on whole grain toast with a protein shake. Jan 20th: Syrup comes from a tree so technically it’s a vegetable.

Commentary:
"From 'I'm starting the year healthy and strong!' to 'Syrup = Vegetable logic level: expert' in just 20 days 🥑🍁🥞 #NewYearResolutionsGoneWild"
5 months ago
Share →: If you gain 4 pounds in one weekend, that just means you’re an overachiever.

Commentary:
Wow, talk about setting the bar high for yourself! 🎉🍔💪 Who knew weight gain could be seen as an accomplishment? Overachieving in all aspects, including the food coma department! 😂👏
5 months ago
Share →: A McRib killed my tapeworm.

Commentary:
Looks like the McRib is not only satisfying cravings but also eliminating unwanted guests! 🍔🐛 Who knew it had such hidden talents? Just another reason to love fast food, right? 🤣