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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

I don’t always seize the day. Sometimes I poke the day with my index finger and go, ew, ew, ew, ew.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

I feel a deep connection to librarians because I also love telling people to shut up.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

I had too much to think last night.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

A Monday every week is excessive.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Ancestors survived five mass extinctions on earth for me to be killed by a house cat I was trying to put a Christmas sweater on.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

The best part of vacation with your extended family is talking shit about them on the trip home.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

People who say “teamwork makes the dream work” are the reason that some people want to punch other people in the face.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

I’m not “dating to marry” or “dating for fun.” I’m dating for a secret third reason.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Painted all of my red flags orange for fall.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Dec 27, 2025

3,901

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

Not to brag, but I drove and found a place I was looking for without turning down my music today.

Seen just now on Threads:

Do you think birds, once they get older, start people-watching?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.

Making waves on Twitch:

I made the mistake of clicking on an Instagram ad for a flannel shirt, and now the algorithm thinks I’m a lumberjack.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

We can’t all be underemployed creatives. Someone in the group chat needs to know what an insurance is.

Just landed via Telegram:

I am just a man, a man who told a woman to calm down, so I guess this is goodbye.

Live now on X:

Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

Just landed via Reddit:

The goth urge to live in a haunted Victorian estate and be feared by the townspeople.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

“You shouldn’t let your cat jump on the counter”, my cat could take out a loan in my name if he wanted to.

Going viral on Instagram:

Some people get it. Most people don’t.

Home » Funny Dim Quotes

Funny dim quotes

Funny dim quotes light up your day with a quirky twist 😜💡 Whether you’re feeling a little slow or just love clever wordplay, these witty gems will brighten your mood and spark some laughs 😂✨ Perfect for sharing with friends or adding a touch of humor to any moment!

New funny dim quotes 👇

I love how bananas just take over the whole smoothie. You can never dim her light.

0

2 months ago

banana, bananas, dim, fruit, fun, humor, i, joke, just, light, love, metaphor, never, over, playful, smoothie, take, whole
If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

0

2 months ago

activity, alone, companionship, dim, dim lights, entertainment, fear, fun, fun activity, horror, horror movie, lights, lonely, movie, put
An eye exam where the optometrist makes you read a menu under dim lights.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, dim, dim lights, exam, eye, eye exam, funny situation, lights, menu, moment, optometrist, read, situation, test, under, vision, vision test, where

All funny dim quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on YouTube this month:

Reading fanfics is so fun, I wish romantic attraction was real.

83 shares on Twitch this month:

Parents saying “I know my child” will forever be the funniest joke.

52 shares on Pinterest this month:

Being loved right feels like telepathy and a little bit of witchcraft.

38 shares on WeChat this month:

I hate when a guy asks “can you cook?” Can you build a house?

66 shares on Reddit this month:

Not to brag, but I just stood up without making a sound. Don’t be jealous.

48 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I hate checking my bank account after having a good time.

17 shares on Slack this month:

I hate it when I go to hug someone sexy and hit my head on the mirror.

52 shares on Messenger this month:

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

72 shares on Snapchat this month:

50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs.

55 shares on WeChat this month:

Fifteen years ago, makeup was all powders and dusts. But now, it’s all goo and liquid. From this, I can infer that by 2040, it will all be made of pigmented gases.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m going to die from jealousy one day.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I have no idea how dishwasher tablets work. I’ve already taken five of them, and I still don’t feel like doing the dishes!

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Watching women’s tennis and getting angry at the net. We shouldn’t put needless obstacles in the way of women.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Kinda rude that your reward for struggling through stuff is still dying at the end anyway.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss them days if you couldn’t rap, you didn’t.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

First rule of cleaning while listening to music: the toilet brush is never the microphone. Never!

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish religion made people nicer to each other.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Shade coming from a tree bearing no fruit could never phase me. Carry on.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I always wonder who makes a more stupid face: women putting on make-up or men shaving?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

“I asked Grok. I asked ChatGPT.” Yeah, well, I asked my mom. She said no.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,660

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

My therapist said I should face my fears. So I turned my phone back on.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

People aren’t so bad if you stay indoors and don’t talk to them.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Dear Snapchat memory, that’s not my friend anymore.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

My doctor just diagnosed me with anxiety and constipation. Now I’m worried shitless.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Asked a German girl for her number, and I’m still waiting for the rest of the digits. So far, all I have is “nine.”

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

I don’t need a midlife crisis. My whole life is a crisis.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Haircuts should be covered by healthcare.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

If there are parallel realities, I really hope they’re not as stupid as this one.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Starting to think I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

I don’t need a recipe for disaster. I usually just eyeball it.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

I could post “hello” and there’d be a 20 day argument in the comments.

Going viral on Telegram:

Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

Going bananas on WeChat:

Need to shave my legs again. Blow-drying takes far too long.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

Shared recently on Telegram:

Movies in the 80s had me convinced that a main part of being a grown-up was staying late at the office and eating Chinese takeout.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Has anybody else completely lost it or is it just me and Kanye?

Live now on Snapchat:

Grandmas be like: Imma stay for a few days and reset your children back to factory settings.

Just shared via Instagram:

The place where you pour in the gas is the car’s gasshole.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I wonder if this next thunderstorm is thinking of me, too.

Going bananas on Threads:

When I take a shower I’m: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions.

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