After all these years, Jude Law has finally noticed me and responded to my love letters. Something about staying 500 feet away. I’m getting it framed. Posted on6 hours ago
Bison may look friend-shaped, but they already have all the friends they want. Keep your distance and don’t make it awkward. Posted on1 day ago
If I like you I keep you close, if not I keep you at a distance so I can mime squishing your head between my thumb and forefinger. Posted on2 days ago
Do you remember when you looked through binoculars upside down and everyone was really far away? That was nice. Posted on2 days ago
Always remember, if you ever need me, I’m just several phone calls and unread texts away. Posted on3 days ago
I always take two stairs at a time, that way if I fall, it’s only half the distance. Posted on3 days ago
King-sized beds: Because you both want to sleep on the same mattress, but not in the same zip code. Posted on4 days ago