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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

American Feng Shui is when the grill doesn’t wobble.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

If you have children, you can experience all human emotions before 9 a.m. on Sundays.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I asked R2D2, and he said you’re a loser.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

It’s important to get out of the house every once and a while to remind yourself of why you don’t go out.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

I think that McDonalds is putting an unhealthy amount of lettuce in the Big Macs these days.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

If you wear enough cardigans, people will assume you’re smart and you can stop reading entirely.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Sorry I missed your call. I saw that you were calling and immediately threw my phone into an active volcano.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Marriage! Because your shitty day doesn’t have to end at work.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

“Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have” is all well and good until you’re rocking a tutu.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

26 minutes ago

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

I just want someone to miss me the way my 3 year old nephew misses me when I go to the washroom.

Shared recently on YouTube:

That awkward moment when someone is doing the dishes, and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Trending via Messenger:

Do crabs underwater think that fishes fly?

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I have a lot to offer! Most of it’s bad, but it’s still a lot.

Reported on Threads:

The gaps in my resume are from the space bar.

Shared recently on Messenger:

The rule should be: if you can smell the cookout, you’re invited to the cookout.

Going viral on Twitch:

Me: I’m an introvert. Vodka: No, you’re not.

Going viral on Pinterest:

They expect me to work at work.

Going viral on WeChat:

Dua Lipa is a fantastic singer AND Mario’s advice to Luigi when he wants to get on a slightly higher platform.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I love being wrong, it’s just like being right except easier and I get to be stupid, which is my favorite thing.

Home » Funny Distance Quotes

28 Funny distance quotes

Funny distance quotes bring a smile 😄 when miles keep us apart! Whether it’s long-distance friendships or relationships, these witty words turn waiting and missing into laughs 😂. Perfect for sharing with that faraway friend or adding some humor to your day 🌍✨. Ready to bridge the gap with a chuckle? Let’s dive into the funniest takes on distance that prove laughter knows no boundaries! 🚀💬

New funny distance quotes 👇

5 days ago
Share →: Your coworker is not hot; they’re just within 10 feet of you 40 hours a week.

Commentary:
Guess being exposed to fluorescent lighting for 40 hours a week really warms up the workplace, huh? 🔥🏢😅
1 week ago
Share →: That uncle who kept his distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense to you as you get older.

Commentary:
So true! Turns out the wise uncle was just avoiding the chaos and living his best life! 🏃‍♂️🚪🏡😂
1 week ago
Share →: That uncle or aunt who kept their distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense as you get older.

Commentary:
When you finally become the mysterious family member at gatherings: 👀🕵️‍♀️🍷
2 weeks ago
Share →: I miss my bed. Why does it have to be so far from where I work?

Commentary:
Relatable! If my bed were any closer, my office would be suspicious of my "nap productivity metrics" 😴💤🔍
3 weeks ago
Share →: I wouldn’t walk 500 miles, and then walk 500 more.

Commentary:
Sounds like a solid plan. I’d only walk 500 steps and then demand a snack break 🍕🚶‍♂️😅
3 weeks ago
Share →: I am cutting contact with my 3-year-old narcissist nephew.

Commentary:
😂😂 "When your nephew thinks he's the king of the sandbox and you're just a lowly subject. 👑🚫🍼"
4 weeks ago
Share →: Absent father sucks, but have you met the final boss, the father who is actually in your life every day but emotionally unavailable, lol.

Commentary:
"When you finally defeat the mini-boss only to find out the final boss is immune to emotional vulnerability attacks 🤖💔😂"
2 months ago
Share →: Distance is my jam; solitude is my peanut butter.

Commentary:
"Ah, the perfect recipe for introvert sandwiches: socially distant but deliciously spread! 🥜😂🍞"
2 months ago
Share →: Traveling long distance without earphones feels like you’re serving a jail term.

Commentary:
"Without earphones on a long journey, it's like I'm in the prison of my own thoughts! 🎧🚫🛤️ #EarphoneOrBust"
3 months ago
Share →: Some people are storms dressed like sunsets. Beautiful from a distance. Dangerous up close.

Commentary:
"When you think you're chasing a sunset, but end up needing an umbrella! ☀️🌧️😅"

For even more funny distance quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny distance quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

26 minutes ago

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Adulting looked way more affordable in the 90’s. I feel scammed.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Forever grateful that thought bubbles aren’t a real thing.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

You didn’t get fired, your job “fumbled you”.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

The existence of raw sexuality implies the existence of medium sexuality, but also well-done sexuality.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

I never sit around waiting for anyone except for the pizza delivery guy.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Doggystyle, so we can both look at the river.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Women are obsessed with Love Island, but when me and my boys do it in real life, we’re disgusting cheating dogs?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

You never forget your first kiss. Or your first meeting with HR.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

I took the first step towards cleaning out my closet today. I went in there and looked it over good.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

On the one hand, I’d love to look sexy in a bikini. On the other hand, there’s cake.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WeChat:

I told a joke to my boss, and he must have found it really funny because now I get to tell it to HR.

Just shared via Facebook:

There should be a withering shamrock emoji so that people can express misfortune or Irish grief.

Making waves on Reddit:

My toxic trait is that I expect people to have common sense, and I get mad when they don’t.

Making waves on Reddit:

I have never seen an alcohol company using a drunk person for any advertising, are they ashamed of their customers?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

There are three certainties in life: death, taxes and getting stuck behind a shit driver when you’re late.

Just shared via Facebook:

I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

From now on, every time I think I’m hating too much, I will think of Kendrick and realize I’m not hating to my full potential.

Trending via Snapchat:

What song lyric resonates with you the most? Mine is “we’re tiny, we’re toony, we’re all a little loony”

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

At my age I don’t sleep, I nap between pee breaks.

Making waves on WeChat:

It’s like 10,000 yawns when all you need is a nap.

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