I don’t even know who’s famous anymore.

I don’t even know who’s famous anymore.

Commentary:
"Well, the struggle is real! 🤷‍♂️🌟 In a world where TikTok stars rise faster than the speed of light, keeping up with who's famous can feel like a full-time job! 💫 Just remember, you're always famous in your own circle – even if it's just among your pets! 🐶🐱 #WhoNeedsHollywood"

You can eat cheesecake for breakfast if you want to. No one can stop you. The police can’t even stop you.

You can eat cheesecake for breakfast if you want to. No one can stop you. The police can’t even stop you.

Commentary:
"Rise and shine, it's cheesecake time! 🍰🚔 Just remember, even the police can't resist the temptation of a good breakfast cheesecake. You do you, no judgment here! 😄"

Coworkers are funny. You could see a guy every day for 5 years then he quits and you never see or even think about him again.

Coworkers are funny. You could see a guy every day for 5 years then he quits and you never see or even think about him again.

Commentary:
"Office friendships: the ultimate 'blink and you miss it' scenario! 🤷‍♂️ Who knew that #TGIF would also stand for 'Thank Goodness I'm Free'? 😂 Remember, out of sight, out of mind…until the next office reunion awkwardly brings everyone back together! 🤣 #WorkplaceDynamics"

Some of you aren’t reading the room. Not even listening to the room on audiobook.

Some of you aren’t reading the room. Not even listening to the room on audiobook.

Commentary:
Looks like some people are on a totally different wavelength, probably tuning into a cooking show instead of the room's drama! 📚🎧 Don't worry, we'll send them a copy of "Room 101" to get them up to speed! 😄

If you're doing Dry January, please, please, keep it to yourself. Nobody cares, and you're probably even more boring without alcohol.

If you’re doing Dry January, please, please, keep it to yourself. Nobody cares, and you’re probably even more boring without alcohol.

Commentary:
"Let's cheers to those brave souls taking on Dry January! 🥂 Just remember, a sober socialite is like a unicorn – rarely seen and possibly mythical. 🦄 #DryJanuaryDrama"

As a proud husband and father in my 40s, my New Year’s resolution is to sneeze even louder this year.

As a proud husband and father in my 40s, my New Year’s resolution is to sneeze even louder this year.

Commentary:
"Move over thunderstorms, this dad's sneezes are taking over 2022! 🌩️🤧 Wishing him the strength to achieve this earth-shattering resolution 😆💪 #SneezeGoals"

Making fun of bands that only play 3 chords when I don’t even know what a chord is.

Making fun of bands that only play 3 chords when I don’t even know what a chord is.

Commentary:
"Who needs chords when you have passion and air guitar skills instead? 🎸😂 Keep rocking with your three-chord wonders and let the music do the talking! 🎶🤘"

Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

Commentary:
"Adulting: where the only race you're winning is the race to pay bills on time! 🏃‍♂️👟 #GrowingUpProblems"

I would like even faster food.

I would like even faster food.

Commentary:
"Move over fast food, we've got a speed demon over here craving even faster food! 🏎️🍔 Hold on tight, we're about to hit drive-thru warp speed! ⚡️🌮"

I can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while I'm not home.

I can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while I’m not home.

Commentary:
"Looks like that package is stealing the spotlight! 📦🏠 Don't worry, it's just a delivery, not an audition for 'Home Alone 5'! 😂 #PackageDrama"