Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

122 Funny even quotes

Some of you aren’t reading the room. Not even listening to the room on audiobook.

3 months ago

If you’re doing Dry January, please, please, keep it to yourself. Nobody cares, and you’re probably even more boring without alcohol.

3 months ago

As a proud husband and father in my 40s, my New Year’s resolution is to sneeze even louder this year.

3 months ago

Making fun of bands that only play 3 chords when I don’t even know what a chord is.

3 months ago

Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

3 months ago

I would like even faster food.

3 months ago

I can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while I’m not home.

3 months ago

People be like “bear with me” and they don’t even have a bear with them.

3 months ago

If I got possessed demonically, I wouldn’t even notice it. With everything else I’ve got going on.

3 months ago

I am not leaving this house until my hoodie strings are even.

3 months ago

I don’t even want to talk about the things I had to do to that elf to get back on the nice list.

3 months ago

Not only is it not Friday, it’s not even Thursday.

3 months ago

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

3 months ago

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the holiday traffic I said I’d avoid even though I did nothing to avoid it.

3 months ago

I was actually a little too thankful yesterday so today I’m going to even it out with some ungratefulness and entitlement.

3 months ago

Coffee doesn’t even make me feel energized, I just drink it for the love of the game.

3 months ago

I love when someone is telling a story and you can tell even from their version that they’re the villain.

3 months ago

Life is so funny because you think you look good today and a year later you look even better.

3 months ago

People always tell me I’d be “late to my own funeral” like it’s a bad thing. They’d be lucky if I even showed up to that depressing shit.

3 months ago

I had a heated but interesting discussion today and they even agreed with me at the end. That’s exactly why I love talking to myself.

3 months ago