Commentary:
That's sanitizer's unique talent—finding invisible paper cuts like a ninja detective! 🕵️♂️🩹😂
258 Funny even quotes
I had a million opportunities to waste money this year, and I took them all. In fact, even when there wasn’t an opportunity, I created one.
Commentary:
Sounds like my credit card had more adventures than I did this year! 💸😂
Saw a girl in a Franz Ferdinand T-shirt. She couldn’t even name three other main causes of the outbreak of World War I.
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“When your music taste gets ahead of your history notes 😂🎶📚”
Today’s kids don’t even get chicken pox anymore, they go straight to STDs.
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Wow, kids these days are achieving things much faster 😅🍗➡️🚑
I don’t even want a new year this year. I’ll take a lightly used 2006, if it’s available.
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When you realize 2006 had it all: low gas prices, flip phones, and no social media chaos. Can we time travel yet? 😂📞⏳
Women are actually very understanding if you’re honest with them, especially if they like you. You don’t even have to do all that lying.
Commentary:
Just trying to save everyone some creative writing time 😂📝💔
You don’t even have to date, by the way. You can just take a break from love and then randomly meet the actual love of your life somewhere you weren’t even supposed to be.
Being a procrastinator and a perfectionist means you’re stressed about work … that you haven’t even started yet.
Commentary:
The ultimate superpower: achieving peak stress levels before the project even begins! 😅⏳📚
My superpower is wasting time I don’t even have.
Commentary:
When it comes to procrastination, I'm basically a Jedi Master 🕒😂✨
For a guy supposedly called my “brother,” I’ve never seen him make broth even once.
Commentary:
Not a single broth brewed… should we file for a name change? 🥣❌🔄😄