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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

The first person to ever throw up was probably like, “Ok, what the hell.”

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Love to come home after a long day’s work and relax with one thousand short-form videos.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

I wait all week for the weekend just to aggressively do nothing in five different outfits.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Crazy part about being an overthinker is most times you right.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

If a man says “I don’t deserve you,” believe him. Because he is about to show you why.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Once you’ve read the dictionary, every other book you read is just a remix.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

If white men can’t jump, how do you explain Super Mario?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

If I ever find out who stole my identity, I’ll pay all their debts and ruin their credit score just for fun.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Have you tried making guacamole about it?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,569

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

I love when my Uber driver and I both shut the hell up for a full ride.

Just shared via Messenger:

Getting real tired of my own bullshit.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again because I have a terrible memory.

Live now on Pinterest:

This family has a lot of nerve wearing all these clothes after I just did laundry.

Trending via Threads:

Being a woman is trying to guess what the hell is going on with your body three times a week.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I pretend I don’t care about stuff, but that’s only because I have no idea what’s going on around me at any given time.

Live now on WhatsApp:

My yoga instructor was drunk today. Put me in a very awkward position.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Rental car companies seem so insanely helpless at their one job. You show up at the airport, reservation in hand, and they’re like, ‘Wait, really? You wanted a car? Sorry, you totally caught me off guard.’

Shared recently on Facebook:

Post-standing clarity is like, damn, I could have been sitting this whole time.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Good morning. I’m ready for attention now.

Funny expand quotes

Funny expand quotes are the perfect way to stretch your smile and tickle your brain 🤣✨ Whether you’re looking to lighten the mood or add a spark to your day, these witty gems grow bigger laughs every time 🌟📈 Get ready to enjoy clever twists and humorous takes that expand beyond the ordinary—because who said expanding can’t be hilarious? 😂💬 #LaughOutLoud

New funny expand quotes 👇

All funny expand quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Telegram this month:

Everybody loves that comfort food until you end up with that comfort body.

93 shares on WeChat this month:

Instead of calling it the John I’m going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

30 shares on Instagram this month:

Life tip: If all of your bathrooms are full and you’re waiting for someone to finish, just turn off the WiFi in the house.

51 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There’s no one I respect more than duck hunters. You spent $15,000 on a camouflage boat to outsmart a duck.

37 shares on Twitch this month:

My dad’s handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

18 shares on Facebook this month:

I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.

56 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Went to bed with wet hair and woke up looking like I might know a lot about astrophysics.

77 shares on Threads this month:

Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

65 shares on Twitch this month:

People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?

56 shares on TikTok this month:

They should invent a day where it all works out.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

And to my grandchildren, I leave my unread PDFs.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite part about health insurance is how your teeth and eyeballs are add-ons.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Took a bunch of Ibuprofen to keep my posts from being too inflammatory.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t spell fries without friends. I guess what I’m saying is that fries are friends. Delicious friends.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

After much deliberation, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m an overthinker.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Girl, are you an Uber driver? Because you are driving me to drink.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40’s: See that kid dressed up like a cop? He is a cop.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

“Stop bouncing your leg!” It’s either this or I start screaming.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,340

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Do goalies ever get lonely during a game?

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Microdosing Christmas by being present.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

I swear every time I look up from my phone, it’s a different holiday.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

My New Year’s resolution is to procrastinate. I’Il start tomorrow.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Gollum is like, “Actually, this is my emotional support precious.”

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

The reason I don’t trust polls is because the people being polled are people who willingly answer the phone when an unknown number is calling them.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Parent hack: Shut your child’s bedroom door to make your house cleaner.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Reading a book and coming across a character’s name that you don’t know how to pronounce, so for the rest of the book, every time you see it, your brain just goes ‘skdjfkskakfk.’

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Why touch grass when you can touch ass?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Got sent to HR for calling someone a “jellyfish” — just floating around all day, doing absolutely nothing.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

When I die and y’all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

Going viral on Telegram:

We’re all in the billionaire submarine now.

Just shared via Pinterest:

My dog sure does give a lot of side eye for someone without a job.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.

Live now on Telegram:

Middle-aged math is going out drinking and feeling half your age then waking up the next morning feeling twice your age.

Spotted on Facebook:

Yes, my sex drive is higher than my will to live, and what about it?

Making waves on Threads:

My brain cells, skin cells and hair cells continue to die, but my fat cells seem to have an eternal life.

Just shared via Telegram:

“Tom Cruise does his own stunts!” Okay cool, but so do I.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Jury duty is a wild concept. Whenever the government wants, they can just be like “Call off work, bestie, we need you to solve a murder. Here’s fifteen dollars.”

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