31 Funny Facebook quotes — Wordgag ツ

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.

2 months ago2 months ago

Thank you, Facebook memories, for constantly reminding me of the shitty taste in men I had for the majority of my life.

2 months ago2 months ago

Accidentally clicked a post about UFOs, and now my Facebook algorithm thinks I’m a much different person.

2 months ago2 months ago

If anyone is still on Facebook, please check on my parents.

2 months ago2 months ago

I spend all day on Facebook so that Mark Zuckerberg can eat.

2 months ago2 months ago

I changed my Facebook name to “Benefits.” Now, when people add me, it says, “You are now friends with benefits.”

3 months ago3 months ago

By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt.

6 months ago

My Facebook friends are like my pen collection. I have 100 but only one writes.

6 months ago

Parents be like “don’t believe everything you see on the internet” then believe everything they see on Facebook.

6 months ago

Facebook: because time isn’t going to pass on it’s own.

6 months ago

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you’re getting a dictionary.

6 months ago

Facebook should just go back to being Hot or Not dot com.

Feb 1, 2025Feb 1, 2025

People on Facebook be like “can anyone tell me about a thing I can easily Google myself?”

Jan 27, 2025

Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.

Jan 27, 2025

Facebook is like a never-ending high school reunion.

Jan 27, 2025

Breaking News: Jenny on Facebook is having salad for dinner tonight.

Jan 26, 2025

I’ve been on Facebook for so long, I remember when it all used to be farmland.

Jan 25, 2025

There’s no-one who can get more drunk on power than the admin of a village Facebook group.

Jan 25, 2025

Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

Jan 24, 2025