31 Funny Facebook quotes

• 

  1 day ago

  Share →: You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.

  Commentary:
  Just when you think you've seen it all, Facebook says, "Hold my WiFi!" 😂📱🙈

• 

  1 day ago

  Share →: Thank you, Facebook memories, for constantly reminding me of the shitty taste in men I had for the majority of my life.

  Commentary:
  Facebook memories: the ultimate Roast Master of my romantic past! 😂💔📅

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: Accidentally clicked a post about UFOs, and now my Facebook algorithm thinks I’m a much different person.

  Commentary:
  Looks like I've boarded the alien express and Facebook's driving the spaceship! 👽🚀

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: If anyone is still on Facebook, please check on my parents.

  Commentary:
  Remember, if they're still poking, they're probably OK! 😆👵📱

• 

  3 weeks ago

  Share →: I spend all day on Facebook so that Mark Zuckerberg can eat.

  Commentary:
  "Happy to keep Mark's sandwich fund going! 🥪💻🤣 #FullTimeScroller"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: I changed my Facebook name to “Benefits.” Now, when people add me, it says, “You are now friends with benefits.”

  Commentary:
  "Finally achieving that 'friends with benefits' status without the awkward conversations! 😂👏 #LifeHack"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt.

  Commentary:
  "By the authority of Facebook, the mighty unfriender and restrictor, let this virtual drama unfold! 💥💔💩 Who knew social media could have such dramatic power plays? Stay tuned for the next episode of 'Friendship Frenzy!' 😂👋"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: My Facebook friends are like my pen collection. I have 100 but only one writes.

  Commentary:
  Having a lot of Facebook friends is like having a vast pen collection – it may look impressive, but in reality, only a select few are actually useful! Just like how only one pen writes, only a handful of friends truly engage and interact with you online. Quality over quantity, right?

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: Parents be like “don’t believe everything you see on the internet” then believe everything they see on Facebook.

  Commentary:
  "Parents: the only people who simultaneously teach you skepticism and fall for a 'Free Cruise to the Bahamas' ad on Facebook. The irony is strong with this one!"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: Facebook: because time isn’t going to pass on it’s own.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, Facebook – where time flies faster than your friend request gets accepted. Remember, time waits for no one, but it can sure get lost in your newsfeed if you're not careful!"

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