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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

We should bring gargoyles back, more buildings need freaky little guys on them.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have started asking humans to prove that they are not robots.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not so sure anymore.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

The global energy crisis could be solved if only we could harness the power of my wife slamming my car door.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

I never had kids because little kids see too many ghosts and that’s something I’d rather not know about.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

I’m sorry I said “Awooga” when you took off your clothes. Do you still want to have sexy time?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Crossing my fingers one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Jan 7, 2026

3,521

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on X:

There’s no filter on my pics or my thoughts. I’m just out here raw-dogging it.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’m doing a terrific job of not getting anything done today.

Just landed via Messenger:

Every time I talk, it sounds like it’s my first time trying to speak.

Spotted on TikTok:

The single star on Texas’ flag is actually a review.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety.

Going viral on WeChat:

Got the zoomies at work, and now HR is chasing me around with a butterfly net.

Seen just now on YouTube:

1pm, the perfect time to start doing the work I woke up early to get a jump on.

Going bananas on Slack:

Watching “Dirty Dancing” as a teenager: Damn right, no one puts Baby in a corner. Watching “Dirty Dancing” as an adult: This girl is a brat and needs a lesson.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

When I’m done eating… I have to show my hands to my cat, like I’m a blackjack dealer.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Why are poets thinking that they are the ones tortured and not those who read their poetry?

Funny family vacation quotes

Funny family vacation quotes capture the hilarious chaos of traveling with loved ones! 🏖️😂 From road trip antics to unforgettable moments in faraway places, these quotes highlight the fun, laughter, and sometimes crazy experiences that come with family getaways. Get ready to relive the best (and funniest) parts of your family adventures! 😄🚗

New funny family vacation quotes 👇

On today’s family vacation agenda: my parents read the internet out loud.

0

2 months ago

agenda, family, family vacation, internet, loud, parent, parents, read, reading, vacation

Someone from 🇦🇸 has recently bookmarked this quote.

52 shares on Pinterest this month.
The best part of vacation with your extended family is talking shit about them on the trip home.

0

2 months ago

family, family vacation, home, trip, vacation

Someone from 🇮🇱 has recently copied this quote.

81 shares on Pinterest this month.
We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

0

2 months ago

complaining, experience, family, family vacation, kids, me, tantrum, terrible, terrible experience, vacation, whining

Someone from 🇫🇷 has recently copied this quote.

14 shares on Reddit this month.

All funny family vacation quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Facebook this month:

America is truly the best country in the world at not learning from their mistakes.

13 shares on Instagram this month:

Being excited to get in bed really is a different level of adulting.

85 shares on Messenger this month:

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

14 shares on Slack this month:

Sometimes happiness is just having a good night’s sleep.

42 shares on Messenger this month:

I told all my neighbors that I have a twin, so that when I see them in public I don’t have to talk to them.

44 shares on Instagram this month:

You looked so beautiful and combative as we were detained for questioning.

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

My signature move is forgetting someone’s name 2 seconds after they tell me.

96 shares on Twitch this month:

A foghorn but for people who can’t see through their own bullshit.

99 shares on X this month:

All my passwords are protected by short term memory loss.

70 shares on WeChat this month:

I refuse to go to a blood bank. I’m not taking your blood money.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Aging is the worst. I miss the good ol’ days when my pain was strictly emotional.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Telling my guitar to “stay tuned”.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do people think it’s ok to ask why a person is single? I don’t ask why you’re unhappily married.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Television is better for you than phone. It is like vaping vs smoking.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Santa doesn’t check the naughty list anymore, he just checks social media.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

So many people say they love their Roomba, but you never see them set it free.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My son got braces today. Yay, he’s not going to be a teenage dad.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Wow, I absolutely love your outfit. The black really brings out the pet hair on it.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t care for the term drug mule, why can’t it be a drug unicorn.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Phone dry, no food in the house, I keep dying in my game. I’m such a loser.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,234

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you miss your wife enough.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

I have been so toxic and horny lately, I should probably start, like, reading a book or something.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

I’ve just learned terrible news. My department at work is planning a team-building retreat. Thank you for your thoughts during this difficult time.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Ever read a post multiple times, still tilt your head and whisper, “What?!”

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

The purpose of a meme is to disturb the humorless, and to humor the disturbed.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Stirring up shit at the wedding by going up to random people and saying “I think it’s so brave that you’re here”.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via X:

No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife’s plans for the second time.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I be butt naked, texting people, and they’ll never know.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I never judge a book by its cover. People, though, I can tell are evil by their stupid faces.

Going viral on Snapchat:

A Bug’s Life” (1998) radicalized me.

Just landed via Twitch:

A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

Going viral on WeChat:

Hi, I’m a social media user, you might know me from such hits as “I’m leaving this stupid place” and “I’m back everybody.”

Live now on WhatsApp:

“Boy, you made these perimenopausal ovaries come back to life,” – me flirting.

Just shared via Discord:

My attempts to purge my possessions always seem to result in me rediscovering that I have lots of nice things, after which I lie happily on my hoard like a dragon.

Going viral on X:

It’s like 10,000 lies when all you need is the files.

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