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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Just paid my rent, now I have a warm place to starve in.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Being abducted by aliens could be just the vacation I need right now.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

My intern was born in 2007. I have unread emails older than that.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

I think my dad just eradicated a small village with his sneeze.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Ironically people who are good at giving advice find it difficult to follow their own.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

It’s exciting to receive a Valentine’s Day card and not know who it’s from. A Father’s Day card, not so much.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Mid-life crisis? No, no, mid-day crisis. Something happens every day.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

My superpower is wasting time I don’t even have.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

There’s a fat man inside me dying to get out.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

If people love cheese so much, why are they mad when someone smells like cheese.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,296

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Me every time I wake up: Oh no, not again!

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I got fired from my job at the massage parlor. No specific reason, apparently I just rub people the wrong way.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Making friends as an adult is wild because there’s so much lore to catch up on. You’ll be 3 years in and still get random drops like, ‘Oh, by the way, I used to be married.’

Broadcasted on Slack:

I’m not calling anyone daddy unless I’m asking for money for the mall.

Trending via TikTok:

I’m sick of diarrhea. I want to livarrhea.

Going viral on Snapchat:

If my son ever came out as gay, I’d be so furious. Furious that he never gave me fashion advice.

Going viral on Messenger:

People in their 20s be like, “This is my emotional support master’s degree.”

Making waves on Facebook:

Through pottery, we domesticated rocks.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

They portray Pilates like it’s this cute girly thing and it’s actually training for combat.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Nothing is more fake than my friendliness on the phone at work.

Funny forgetful quotes

Funny forgetful quotes bring a hilarious twist to those moments when your brain takes a coffee break ☕️🧠. Whether you’ve misplaced your keys for the tenth time or walked into a room wondering why, these witty lines capture the charm of a forgetful mind 😂🔑. Get ready to laugh, relate, and embrace the delightful chaos of everyday forgetfulness! 🎉📋

New funny forgetful quotes 👇

All funny forgetful quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I didn’t believe in karma until I was scheduled to work at 6am on a holiday.

90 shares on Snapchat this month:

Spent most of the day making sure the couch still works. So far so good.

14 shares on WeChat this month:

Whoever came up with the name wallpaper really nailed it.

94 shares on Pinterest this month:

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.

57 shares on Telegram this month:

Wolves should really raise more people.

64 shares on Twitch this month:

Does your blood pump that way just for me?

66 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Imagine being all knowing and still putting a snake in charge of apples.

78 shares on TikTok this month:

It was the becestershire of times, it was the worcestershire of times.

21 shares on Discord this month:

People say, “Listen to your heart, do the right thing,” like they are the same things.

48 shares on Threads this month:

The Welsh language was invented by a dad losing at Scrabble.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to social media. A person who does not understand humor will contact you shortly.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My kidnappers sent me back early with a full apology, some money, and several of their fingers.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t need your flipping advice, I am capable of ruining my life on my own.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Girl, you gotta try this healing potion. It’s called beer.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Ninety percent of my new follows are beautiful women, which tells me one thing: I’ve still got it!

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Playing dumb for five minutes often saves a lot of work.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I forgot to take my meds so I’m looking forward to joining the squirrels in the tree to talk politics.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I am so out of shape right now, that if someone yelled “run for your life!” I’d be like “ya’ll go ahead, I’m meetin’ Jesus today!”

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Old people be like, “No elbows on the table, it’s rude,” then say something racist.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,390

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

I bet she doesn’t even laugh at your dumb jokes the fake way I did.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

I am not someone you have to entertain if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

My family asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day, so I packed their bags and changed the locks.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

I’m confused how a cemetery can raise its funeral prices and blame it on the cost of living.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

I love when certain people post their dating app convos, and you get to see what a conversation between two really boring people looks like.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

It’s now socially acceptable again to clap when the plane lands.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Dear algo, please only show this post to benevolent aliens.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Several of my internal organs hurt, but I’m 100% sure it’s not my body trying to tell me something.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

The theory that two stacked beds can’t be converted into two regular beds has been debunked.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Computer dating is fine, if you’re a computer.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Windmill? Big fan.

Freshly posted on X:

I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

Trending via Pinterest:

If I say “with all due respect,” nothing respectful is about to come out of my mouth.

Live now on Facebook:

You don’t really see women throwing their boyfriend’s stuff out the window anymore.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasn’t any demon stuff.

Trending via Reddit:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Lack of sex really gets you mad at every little thing for no reason.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Coffee should just be free for anybody over 30.

Just landed via Instagram:

If you are hotter than me, it means I’m cooler than you.

Live now on Slack:

Every time I talk, it sounds like it’s my first time trying to speak.

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