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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from has bookmarked:

I slept like a baby, knowing I’m a burden to everyone around me.

Someone from has downloaded:

I’m glad I have boobs. The last thing I need is people making eye contact with me.

Someone from has shared:

Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

Someone from has shared:

If you saw me licking the plate after the charcuterie was finished, no you didn’t.

Someone from has copied:

Humans should grow a new set of teeth in our 30s to make-up for all the poor decisions in our 20s.

Someone from has bookmarked:

Children really brighten up a home. They never turn the lights off, …

Someone from has downloaded:

Hate when people ask “why is it called Silence of the Lambs?” Like, did you hear any lambs during the movie? Use your head!

Someone from has bookmarked:

I could never journal, I’d start lying in there too.

Someone from has downloaded:

Sorry I can’t have a pleasant, safe and affordable life, my government said no.

Someone from has viewed:

“Stand up for yourself!” Girl, I have low iron.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2250 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,412

Funny Quotes Topics

15,120

Funny Quotes Images

12,412

Updated

27 minutes ago

Users Online

3,453

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on YouTube:

I was waiting on the universe but the universe was actually waiting on me.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

If you get hangovers, it’s because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt.

Spotted on Instagram:

My girlfriend just had a go at me for not glistening, whatever that is.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Waffles are just pancakes with abs.

Reported on Instagram:

Any room can be a bathroom if you hate the person who’s house you’re in.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Trying is the first step toward failure.

Making waves on Facebook:

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

Trending via YouTube:

I’m far too underqualified for adult life, and I feel like I was promoted to manager far too quickly.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Pinterest algorithm is like a loving dad who fills the whole fridge with oranges after seeing you enjoy one.

Seen just now on Discord:

Human hibernation should be a thing.

Home » Funny Golden Quotes

Funny golden quotes

Funny golden quotes bring a sparkle of laughter and sunshine to your day 🌟😂 Whether you need a quick mood boost or a clever twist on life’s little moments, these gems will have you grinning from ear to ear 😄✨ Get ready to brighten up your feed with witty wisdom that’s pure gold! 💛💬

New funny golden quotes 👇

1 day ago
Share →: Why do fruit flies be everywhere but at the supermarket? Ain’t that like their Golden Corral?

Commentary:
Guess they prefer fine dining to all-you-can-eat! 🍎🍇🪰
2 months ago
Share →: The golden rule of three beverages: one to hydrate, one to caffeinate, and one to celebrate.

…

Commentary:
"Living the trilogy of life: hydrate like a champ, caffeinate like you're on a deadline, and celebrate like it's 5 o'clock somewhere! 🥤☕️🥂"
4 months ago
Share →: Silence is golden. But duct tape is silver.

Commentary:
"Silence is golden 🤫, but duct tape is silver! ✨ When words fail, duct tape prevails – the unsung hero of solving all life's little problems. Just remember, everything is fixable with a roll of duct tape! 🎉"