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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

If you like Christmas so much, why don’t you merry it?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

All the clouds have come out to play today.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

I have more photos of food on my phone than I do of my children.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Is it better to beat someone to the punch or punch someone to the beat?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

I’ll call it a smartphone when I yell “Where’s my phone?” and it yells back “Down here in the couch cushions!”

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

I crashed my bike in 1989 and hurt my knee real bad. We didn’t have social media back then so I’m telling you guys now.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Please, Tinder, add AI to your app. I don’t want to be involved in the modern dating experience. Let a robot do it for me. Let the machines suffer in our place.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Have you noticed? When the relationship is new, the guy is never busy.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

They said, “Enjoy your money because life is short.” Now my money is finished, but I’m still alive.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

People singing Happy Birthday to you feels like a real-life unskippable ad.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,594

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

Boyfriends come and go… reply guys stay forever. Against your will, even.

Making waves on Telegram:

Parents saying “I know my child” will forever be the funniest joke.

Just landed via Discord:

I love when someone texts “hey,” like I’m supposed to solve the rest.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Is everything expensive or am I just poor?

Broadcasted on X:

Lately life has been all panic no disco.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Before sleeping, most people will imagine stuff they want to happen. Like sleeping.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Silently hoping for a comet to strike, to get out of today’s responsibilities.

Breaking via Slack:

You’re acting up? Right before Santa Claus comes to town? Unbelievable.

Making waves on Facebook:

Just found out my 84-year-old neighbour is on his own tomorrow, so I’ve just been over to collect his spare chairs to borrow.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

Funny hanks quotes

New funny hanks quotes 👇

I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

2 months ago

asked, autograph, celebrity, hanks, humor, i, misunderstanding, signature, thanks, tom, Tom Hanks

All funny hanks quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Instagram this month:

Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.

35 shares on YouTube this month:

What doesn’t kill you gives you a twisted, dark sense of humor.

24 shares on Twitch this month:

No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.

25 shares on X this month:

Going to the bathroom at night with my flashlight on and a dog next to me feels like I’m gonna solve a mystery.

42 shares on Reddit this month:

When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

86 shares on Reddit this month:

Whoever named the grapefruit when there was already a fruit named grape. Incompetent legend. I wish we could hang out.

16 shares on WhatsApp this month:

At least 80% of my day is spent holding back my inappropriate thoughts.

64 shares on Telegram this month:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, why so many fingerprints?

46 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s amazing how much I accomplish around the house right before someone is coming over.

19 shares on Instagram this month:

Tattoo idea for men: spider webs in the corners of the receding hairline.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to start drinking beer and eating hot dogs along the first base line at a baseball game.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Drugs don’t ruin lives. Drug tests do.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Text her when the moon looks pretty.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

I know I’m almost 40 because I had a few drinks last night and woke up this morning thinking: Oh no I bought so many socks online last night.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

I get it dogs, I wish I could also bark at strangers approaching my house.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Big fan of calling artists their first name and then the band name as their last name.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Husband said he only wants to allow our kids to watch Looney Tunes and nothing else because of the “moral lessons”.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

People who like sweet potato fries can’t be taken seriously and deserve shame and ridicule.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I’m late. I sat on my bed in a towel for 45 minutes, staring at the wall.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

Mrs. Doubtfire is my favorite movie about violating a custody agreement.

Breaking via Discord:

Stop making eye contact with me, I can’t afford a wedding right now.

Just landed via Slack:

Musk goes “exactly,” and it’s the stupidest tweet you’ve ever read in your entire life.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Help, I accidentally used dark humor with normal people, and now they’re concerned for my mental health.

Making waves on Pinterest:

In a massage chair at the mall just moaning really loud.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Spongebob never let anyone dull his whimsical spirit.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

The audacity of someone being in the store aisle I want to go down.

Breaking via TikTok:

I’m not your dream woman. I am the sudden shouting of ravens that you hear when you enter a part of the forest you shouldn’t have.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Horoscope: Many good things are in store for you! Unfortunately, the store is closed for repairs.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

If you’re bored when you’re alone, obviously you’re in bad company.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny hanks quotes

New funny hanks quotes 👇

I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

All funny hanks quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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