Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

Commentary:
"Whoever said you can't have it all clearly hasn't met me 😏 Let's aim for a life filled with laughter and pleasure – it's all about that good vibe energy! 😂💥 #FunnyQuotes #LifeGoals"

Nothing has improved the quality of my life more than living beyond my means.

Nothing has improved the quality of my life more than living beyond my means.

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old wisdom of living beyond our means – because who needs financial stability when you can have fun gadgets and fancy dinners, right? 💸🍾 Just remember, it's all fun and games until the credit card bill arrives! 😅💳 #LivingTheHighLife"

The PhD student is someone who foregoes their current happiness in order to forego future happiness.

The PhD student is someone who foregoes their current happiness in order to forego future happiness.

Commentary:
Ah, the life of a PhD student – trading present joy for future joy that may or may not arrive 🤓🎓 Sacrificing sleep, social life, and probably some sanity along the way for that elusive happiness down the road! #PhDLife #WorthItMaybe 😅

I’m starting to think that the secret to having a happy life is avoiding people.

I’m starting to think that the secret to having a happy life is avoiding people.

Commentary:
"Maybe we've been doing it all wrong, and social distancing was the key to happiness all along! 🤔💭 Avoid people, embrace solitude, and enjoy the peaceful sound of your own thoughts… seems like a solid plan! 🌟😂 #IntrovertLife"

Being silly is very important for my mental health.

Being silly is very important for my mental health.

Commentary:
"Who knew that being absolutely bonkers was actually a form of self-care? 😜 Embrace the silliness and keep those mental health vibes strong! 🤪"

You know what brought my home value up? Not having an angry man in it.

You know what brought my home value up? Not having an angry man in it.

Commentary:
"Who knew the secret to increasing home value was simply keeping anger at the door 🏡🚪? Looks like peace, love, and a dash of humor are the real estate hot commodities these days! 😆 #HappyHomeHappyLife"

One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet's weird little teeth.

One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

Commentary:
"Admiring your pet's quirky teeth is like finding hidden treasures in the world of adorable imperfections! 😬🐾 Embrace the dental charm of your furry friend and cherish those wonderfully weird pearly whites!"

I was really happy about it being Friday until I realized it was only Wednesday.

I was really happy about it being Friday until I realized it was only Wednesday.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic case of mistaken identity: Wednesday pretending to be Friday! 🤦‍♂️ Don't worry, just a few more days of pretending and you'll be back to living the Weekend Dream! Hang in there! 😄🎉"

Giving every single movie I watch a five star review because it’s just such a joy to be alive.

Giving every single movie I watch a five star review because it’s just such a joy to be alive.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's living life on the five-star lane! 🌟🍿 Who needs critics when you've got an abundance of joy-sparking movies at your fingertips, right? Keep that positivity train rolling, movie buff!"

I’m so thankful I live on the planet that has pizza.

I’m so thankful I live on the planet that has pizza.

Commentary:
🍕🌍 "I'm not sure who needs to hear this, but the best decision I've ever made was choosing to live on the 'Planet Pizza'! No regrets, just extra cheese and happiness 😄🍕 #PizzaLover #Grateful #BestPlanetEver"