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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Christmas bonus so small you have to call your bank and ask “is it in yet?”

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

You do not have to prove your own humanity to others. Unless it’s a captcha.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Did anyone ask the daylight if it wanted to be saved?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

I’ve never completed a marathon, but I’ve listened to my mom tell a story, so don’t talk to me about endurance.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Just saw the fattest bird. This guy must get up early as hell.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

They all cheat, lie and manipulate. Just pick the pretty one.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

It’s so important to warm up before any physical activity, like getting out of bed.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

The worst part about borrowing money is having to pay it back or move to a new city.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

The problem with dating apps is I don’t wanna date someone that would use a dating app.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

37 minutes ago

3,451

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

Speaker phone in public should be illegal.

Making waves on YouTube:

I have so much planned today that I was already tired thinking of it yesterday.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Spotify: enjoy the next 30 minutes commercial free. Also Spotify: we have no concept of time.

Just shared via Slack:

The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

Just landed via WeChat:

Forgetting how to clean the dishes and shooting them with a gun.

Reported on X:

Called in, “Hey, macarena!” this morning.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I think during winter we should also get to work less hours in a day, just like the sun.

Spotted on Telegram:

Congratulations on angrily speeding past me to get to the red light first. You’re special.

Spotted on Facebook:

If you ever get a chance to date a cute person for one day, where will you take me?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Careful, “friend”. One more word about Shakira and you might find out just how fast I can draw this blade.

Home » Funny Holiday Stress Quotes

Funny holiday stress quotes

New funny holiday stress quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: An Advent Calendar for adults but behind every door is a different kind of anxiety medication.

Commentary:
"Introducing the 'Anxi-vent Calendar' – because adulting requires a daily dose of anxiety meds behind each door! 💊🚪 Stay calm and carry on… opening those doors! 😅"
6 months ago
Share →: Absolute worst time of year to have a secret family. Hands down.

Commentary:
"Whoops! Looks like someone forgot to check the family calendar before planning their secrets! 🗓️🤭 Maybe next time pick a less festive season for clandestine endeavors! #SecretFamilyProblems"
6 months ago
Share →: When someone is in a Christmas eve panic, I always find that “well, maybe you should have thought of that sooner” is a helpful phrase.

Commentary:
😂🎄 "Ah, the classic Christmas eve panic, where last-minute shopping becomes an extreme sport! 'Well, maybe you should have thought of that sooner' is like the holiday version of 'I told you so!' ❄️ Pro tip: stock up on eggnog and patience for those who find themselves in this jolly predicament!"

For even more funny holiday stress quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny holiday stress quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

37 minutes ago

3,424

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Italians, look away now. I break my spaghetti in half before I cook it.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

I enjoy long walks up and down my stairs trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

I wish I could invoice people for wasting my time.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Requesting the Pink Panther theme song at karaoke and just standing on the stage motionless the entire time.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Imagine you get to the gates of heaven and they make you download an app to go in.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

The collective noun for a group of narcissists should be an ‘egosystem’.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Please do not ask a bookworm if they are going to finish the books they have before buying more. It is very offensive in our culture.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

She doesn’t want flowers, she wants to invoke an ancient curse.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

When you said “let’s circle back to that in the new year” and now it’s the new year.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

Did the people you had a crush on always like you back or are you funny?

Reported on Messenger:

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

Just landed via Snapchat:

It is easier to pass a camel through the eye of a needle than it is to convince somebody online that they are wrong.

Going viral on Twitch:

I get ignored so much, my name should be “terms and conditions”.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Normalize responding to work emails with: “What the hell are you talking about?”

Just shared via WeChat:

I’ve jogged with my jogging pants about as often as I’ve rolled through the kitchen with kitchen roll.

Trending via Twitch:

You can talk about any topic for 30 mins if you’re a confident liar.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Nothing more rude than taking a photo of yourself and it looking like how you actually look, and not how you look inside your head.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Can everyone log off? I need some time alone right now.

Live now on WeChat:

Sometimes I sneeze so loud and hard I think I’m a dad.

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