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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

I just want a man to look at me the way Doc from ‘Back to the Future’ looks when something exciting happens.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Starting an OnlyFans, but it’s just videos of me trying to use chopsticks.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Getting old is not fun. Sometimes I have to check my texts and photos when someone asks me what I did yesterday.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Cheers erupt as woman cuts into perfectly ripe avocado.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Being excited to get in bed really is a different level of adulting.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can’t eat anything when I’m asleep!

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Venmo is my favorite social media site. I love to see my boy John charge his wife for Martinis.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I hope you catch the bouquet at my funeral.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

You ever wake up in the morning and your first thought is ‘I can’t wait to go to bed tonight’?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

816 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,978

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,978

Updated

48 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WeChat:

Breaking News: Local woman stuns in new unnecessary online purchase.

Going viral on TikTok:

There’s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).

Spotted on Slack:

I don’t do exercise because one time I kneed myself in the face doing a burpee.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I’d be really slim if it wasn’t for birthdays, anniversaries, Easter, Christmas, Mother’s Day, weekends and me.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Apparently I lack empathy, according to some stupid cow in HR.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

If I eat a magnet, will I become more attractive?

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I’m really looking forward to another exciting year staring at my phone.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

It’s actually quite simple: I don’t want to eat less, I just want to weigh less.

Trending via X:

If I got possessed demonically, I wouldn’t even notice it. With everything else I’ve got going on.

Trending via LinkedIn:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $1 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst anniversary gifts ever.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

816 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,978

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,978

Updated

48 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you’re full of energy and you can’t wait to get to work? Me neither!

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Zombies started running in movies and life has been chaotic since.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Women in movies look so beautiful when they sleep. Meanwhile, I’m tossing and turning all night like a forgotten 7-Eleven hot dog.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Glasses don’t make you look smart, everyone knows you had to fail a test to get them.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Sorry, I’m poor, I can’t afford to pay attention.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

There used to be many different names for the childhood game of knocking on doors and running away. But these days, it’s simply referred to as ‘being an Amazon driver’.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

As an exorcist, whenever I hear of some new poor soul possessed by a demon, all I can think is Ka-Ching!

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

I’m living in a parallel universe where I suck at parking.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Had calamari for the first time ever, and it wasn’t that bad. Maybe I’ll try marriage next.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

I need a job where I don’t actually have to work.

Breaking via WeChat:

I think my dad just eradicated a small village with his sneeze.

Reported on TikTok:

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.

Spotted on Discord:

At the art museum walking slower and observing more than anyone else.

Shared recently on Slack:

I’d be a horrible stalker… I’m always late.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Always keep a dog eared book on your nightstand so that people think you know how to read.

Going viral on Instagram:

I love tennis but never really been clear why they need a lifeguard.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

Just landed via Discord:

If I was a Spice Girl I would be Mild to Medium Spice.

Just shared via Threads:

Sometimes you choose the GIF-war over your responsibilities.

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