Wordgag ツ

Jan 20, 2025
Share →: I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Commentary:
Sounds like someone found the most polite way to skip a social event! 💁‍♂️✉️ It's like saying, "Sorry I couldn't make it, but I'm totally on board with the whole funeral thing!" 😄 #SendingGoodVibesFromADistance
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: At no single point in the Bible does it tell you not to sell drugs.

Commentary:
"Selling drugs may not be explicitly mentioned in the Bible, but I'm pretty sure Jesus wouldn't approve of your 'miraculous' herb garden 😄💊 #DivineDeals"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: “Well at least I don’t have to wake up any more.” Is what I want my tombstone to say.

Commentary:
"Finally hitting the snooze button for eternity 💤⏰ Who says you can't sleep in peace? 🪦😴 #RestInEternalSnooze"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m totally flexible.

Commentary:
"When it comes to being flexible, I'm as bendy as a brick wall 🧘‍♂️💁‍♂️. As long as I get my way, I'm willing to contort myself into any shape necessary! #FlexibilityGoals"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: If you ever feel useless, remember that there are bathrooms at pools.

Commentary:
"Feeling useless? Just remember, even pools have bathrooms for those who need to make a splash in more ways than one! 🚽💦 #LifeLessons"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: Be careful when you follow the masses sometimes the M is silent.

Commentary:
"Remember, sometimes the M in 'masses' is silent…and so are the original ideas! 😉 Don't be afraid to break away from the crowd and forge your own path, even if it means standing out with that silent M! 🤫 #Beyourself #Uniqueandproud"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.

Commentary:
😄🏃‍♂️ "The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it… a sign that they're either really enjoying their run or they just saw a squirrel do something hilarious. Keep an eye out for those elusive happy joggers – they might be onto something!"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it.

Commentary:
"Who needs a fancy alarm clock when you have a scalding cup of coffee ready to jolt you awake! ☕️😳 Nothing quite gets the heart racing like the sensation of liquid fire on your lap… definitely a wake-up call you won't forget in a hurry! 😂"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: This whole working for a living thing goes on for how long?

Commentary:
"Like the Energizer bunny, you just keep going and going and going… 🐰💼 Don't worry, retirement is just a few thousand more Mondays away! ⏳😅"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

Commentary:
"Learning from the mistakes of others can be both enlightening and entertaining. It's like having a front-row seat to a show you helped produce! 🙃💡"