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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

If they cancel the Simpsons, we will no longer be able to see into the future.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Some days you are the table and some days you are the toe.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Why do people think it’s ok to ask why a person is single? I don’t ask why you’re unhappily married.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Sometimes life is like a cowshed. You step from one turd into the next.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

My whole life, I never read a warning label telling me not to eat laundry detergent or put glue in my hair, somehow I just knew.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Women love deciding to never talk to you again, and actually do it.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

“Well, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

“Your account balance is low!” Brother, wait until you see my will to live.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2312 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,474

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,474

30 minutes ago

3,461

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

I asked myself if I was toxic and we said no.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’m glad I have boobs. The last thing I need is people making eye contact with me.

Breaking via Threads:

There should be bloopers at the end of horror movies, so it relaxes you before bedtime.

Spotted on Reddit:

Laxatives help you live up to your full pooptential.

Making waves on X:

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

Spotted on Discord:

Does anyone know what to do, like in general?

Seen just now on Facebook:

I caught your husband cheating on you at an Alanis concert, and thought you, you, you oughta know.

Live now on Instagram:

I will never forget how to spell bananas, thanks to Gwen Stefani.

Just shared via Slack:

I just need to get over everything that has happened to me in my entire life and then we can hang out.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Hate when I get halfway there and have to go back for my teeth.

Home » Funny Job Quotes

247 Funny job quotes

Funny job quotes add a humorous perspective to the everyday world of work! 💼😂 From witty observations about office life to playful comments on job responsibilities, these quotes capture the lighter side of earning a living. Enjoy a laugh and make the most of your workday with a smile! 😄🖥️

New funny job quotes 👇

1 day ago
Share →: The only thing preventing me from moving to Finland is the language barrier and a job.

Commentary:
Sounds like you're just two small details away from becoming a Finnish local! 😅🇫🇮🗣️💼
4 days ago
Share →: Wow, you did such a great job clicking in your little spreadsheets today. Super proud of you.

Commentary:
Impressive work flexing those spreadsheet muscles today! 🏋️‍♂️📊💪 Keep clicking your way to glory!
5 days ago
Share →: Getting an entry-level job before the release of ChatGPT in 2022 was like taking the last chopper out of Vietnam. Few realize this yet.

Commentary:
Trying to find a job before ChatGPT was like playing musical chairs… except they removed all the chairs! 🎶😅🪑🚁
5 days ago
Share →: Take your days off, these jobs don’t care about you.

Commentary:
Who knew sick days could be the secret to job security? 😜💼🌴
5 days ago
Share →: I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

Commentary:
Ah, the sweet sound of someone else's freedom as my background music while I draft another email 🤣💼✨
5 days ago
Share →: I exaggerated on my job application and said I wanted to work for a living.

Commentary:
Living life on the edge, one job application at a time! 😅💼 #ProfessionalExaggerator
6 days ago
Share →: Love Island is fun, but when is Job Island on?

Commentary:
I’m ready to trade my roses for a paycheck! 🌹➡️💸 #JobIslandCourting
6 days ago
Share →: Eating healthy requires a second job.

Commentary:
Guess I’ll need a third job just to afford dessert! 🥑💸🍰
6 days ago
Share →: As a man, it’s my job to mistake kindness for flirting.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'she held the door, we're practically engaged now' syndrome! 😄🚪💍"
6 days ago
Share →: An entire generation is currently studying for jobs that will not exist.

Commentary:
Plot twist: We're all secretly majoring in time travel logistics! 🚀⌛️ #FutureProofed

For even more funny job quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny job quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2312 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,474

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,474

30 minutes ago

3,460

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

I came, I saw, I was disappointed, so I left.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Boys are disgusting. Can’t believe I like these things.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

People who like sweet potato fries can’t be taken seriously and deserve shame and ridicule.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Congratulations to the sweater, another year of being the most disgustingly named piece of clothing.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Remember those days when you missed school and you’d check the time and think, “They’re eating right now.”

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Even my imaginary friend got bored and left me a note saying ‘we should see other people’

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Being excited to get in bed really is a different level of adulting.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

There’s nothing like the excitement of a brand-new book to add to the massive pile of books I still haven’t read.

Seen just now on WeChat:

If someone asks you why you’re single, just answer with: “Got lucky.”

Just landed via Instagram:

Ah yes, my abandonment issues due to all the abandonment.

Just shared via Instagram:

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

Trending via X:

I’m at the age where, if you ask me to go out after 9 p.m., I’m definitely not coming.

Spotted on YouTube:

I have friends in high places (birds).

Shared recently on Messenger:

Friends are God’s way of apologizing to us for our families.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

That Coldplay CEO guy was held more accountable than the president.

Breaking via Instagram:

If you keep the house dark, not only do you save on electricity, but it also looks cleaner.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

It’s Monday again and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

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