336 funny job quotes - Page 3 - Wordgag

Sometimes you show up to work, and they just torture you for hours.

May 28, 2026

They lie on the job descriptions, so lie on your resume.

May 28, 2026

Babe, wanna come over and watch me apply for jobs on Indeed until I start to cry.

May 28, 2026

Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a church window cleaner.

May 28, 2026

An interviewer asked me how well I can perform under pressure; I said I’m much better at Bohemian Rhapsody.

May 28, 2026

Me, aged 20: This is internship summer. I will get an internship. I will find a job. I will study. I will read. I will learn piano. I will… Me, nowadays: This summer, I’m going to try all of the ice cream flavors.

May 28, 2026

It’s with a heavy heart and a deep sadness that I have to announce that I’m at work.

May 28, 2026

What are some good jobs for someone with no passions, interests, motivation, social skills, or strengths?

May 28, 2026

The gap in my resume is because I was trying to reach enlightenment for 5 years.

May 28, 2026

A political guy who supports communism because he hates applying for jobs and just wants to be assigned somewhere.

May 28, 2026

Someone at my job mentioned severance, and I was like, “Oh my God, I love that show,” and they said, “No, I’m about to get fired.”

May 28, 2026

I speak for everyone when I say that finding the balance between watching movies, watching TV shows, and playing video games is harder than any job.

May 28, 2026

Today I was in a taxi, and the taxi driver said, “I love my job. I am my own boss, nobody tells me what to do!” Then I said, “Turn left.”

May 27, 2026

The worst part about going to work is the part where you have to go to work.

May 27, 2026

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

May 27, 2026

Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

May 27, 2026

Quitting my job to focus more on my desire not to work anymore.

May 27, 2026

Do you think working at Pizza Hut would help you get a job at Sunglass Hut? You know, with all that hut experience?

May 27, 2026

Having a job ruined my life.

May 27, 2026

Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra.

May 27, 2026

Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.

May 27, 2026

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.

May 27, 2026

My cat, who has no job and pays no rent, is apparently unhappy with his fancy new cat food, and I, for some reason, am currently on my way back to the store to rectify the matter.

May 27, 2026

Maybe dogs are smarter than us because they found a way to get fed and housed without having to go to college and get a job.

May 27, 2026

If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

May 27, 2026

I’ve started ripping my shirt in half like Hulk Hogan when I mean business. Long story short, I’m looking for a new job.

May 27, 2026

The lion does not concern himself with attaching a cover letter.

May 27, 2026

This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

May 27, 2026

To avoid burnout at work, use the 30-30 rule: after 30 minutes of work, quit your job and disappear into the mountains for 30 years.

May 27, 2026

Working my first office job. Is it normal to have nothing to do?

May 27, 2026

Don’t ask me for work advice, I’m just going to tell you to quit your job.

May 27, 2026

Pilot is one of the few jobs where you can get fired for going above and beyond.

May 27, 2026

I wish that reading books in the park were my job, and I got paid six figures for it.

May 27, 2026

“AI is coming for your job.” Yeah, I’d like to see AI drink 11 coffees, then have a panic attack.

May 27, 2026

Brain, I know you’re trying hard, but you are not doing a good job.

May 27, 2026

Beer is like weed for people with jobs.

May 27, 2026

I need a job where I don’t actually have to work.

May 27, 2026

The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.

May 27, 2026

Fake laughing with customers is actually a job skill.

May 27, 2026

I’ve tasted being employed, and I’ve tasted being unemployed. I recommend not being born.

May 27, 2026