Wordgag ツ

Jan 25, 2025
Share →: Video games are great. They let you try out your craziest fantasies. For example, on The Sims, you can have a job and a house.

Commentary:
"Who needs actual responsibilities when you can just play The Sims all day? 💼🏠 It's like living in a fantasy world where adulting doesn't exist! 😂🎮"
Jan 25, 2025
Share →: Companies post open positions online and then ask you why you applied to them.

Commentary:
"Applying for a job online is like sending your resume into a black hole and then getting interviewed like you were hand-picked by the heavens above 🌟💼 It's like, hey, I applied because I need a job and you had openings – it's not rocket science! 🚀😂"
Jan 25, 2025
Share →: All the observable evidence suggests that, if I was much worse at my job, I’d be more likely to get a promotion to senior management.

Commentary:
"Well, who knew incompetence could be the key to success in the corporate world? 🤷‍♂️ Maybe it's time to start making intentional mistakes! 😉 #PromotionByAccident"
Jan 24, 2025
Share →: I was thinking of becoming self employed, but due to cutbacks, I can’t afford to hire me right now.

Commentary:
"Looks like the boss (aka YOU) is not feeling so generous with the budget lately 🤷‍♂️ Maybe it's time for a performance review with some self-reflection? 😅💼 #DIYBoss"
Jan 24, 2025
Share →: I don’t care if it’s AI or an immigrant, I desperately need someone to take my job, it’s killing me.

Commentary:
"Desperate times call for desperate measures! 🤖👨‍🏭 Just remember, if AI takes over your job, at least you'll never have to worry about office drama or coffee breaks again! ☕️😄"
Jan 24, 2025
Share →: Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not working.

Commentary:
"Finally free from the shackles of responsibility, I'm embarking on a new journey of profound laziness and unapologetic relaxation! 🛋️💤 Who knew my true passion was just lounging around all day? Here's to a future full of naps and Netflix binges! 🎉😆 #LivingTheDream"
Jan 24, 2025
Share →: Schrodinger’s Immigrant: A person who is simultaneously too lazy to work, but is also stealing your job.

Commentary:
Ah, the mysterious Schrodinger's Immigrant – mastering the art of being both industrious and idle all at once! 🤔💼🕰️ Should we applaud their multitasking skills or simply marvel at the quantum leaps in job security dynamics? 🤣👷‍♂️💼 #SchrodingersImmigrant #JobMarketJokes
Jan 24, 2025
Share →: No LinkedIn, I am not “open to work,” I am required to work.

Commentary:
"Sorry LinkedIn, I may be open to snacks and naps, but work? That's a non-negotiable contract! 💼😂 #ProfessionalPriorities"
Jan 24, 2025
Share →: I’m gonna put “CEO of Blockbuster Video” on my resume because who are they gonna call to confirm?

Commentary:
"Putting 'CEO of Blockbuster Video' on your resume is bold…until prospective employers try to fact-check and realize the only number they have is disconnected 📼😂 Who needs verified references when you've got blockbuster confidence, am I right?"
Jan 24, 2025
Share →: The perfect job for me would be the person staining things for detergent commercials.

Commentary:
"Oh, you have a talent for making stains disappear? Looks like you've found your calling! 💧👚 Just remember to always wear an apron – stained clothes aren't a good look for your resume! 😜👔"