1470 Funny joke quotes

Funny joke quotes are a quick and easy way to brighten your day with a punchline! 😄🎭 From classic zingers to clever twists, these quotes deliver laughs in bite-sized doses. Perfect for sharing, snickering, or simply surviving Monday. 😂🗯️📅

If you ever need nothing, I’m here for you.

Commentary:
Ah, the kind offer of providing absolutely nothing when you need it the most! 🤣 Just remember, I excel in the art of doing nothing, so count on me for no help at all! 😉 #HelpfulByBeingUseless

I’m lacking vitamin c-ash.

Commentary:
Looks like someone's immune system is on strike! 🍊💸 Don't worry, with some extra Vitamin C, you'll be financially and healthily recovered in no time! 😉 #VitaminCash #ThriveAndSqueeze

I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

Commentary:
Well, if life is a joke, then you must be the headliner of the comedy show! 🎭😂 Just keep laughing your way through the punchlines life throws at you! 🤣 #LivingMyBestJoke

Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments…

Commentary:
Well, that's some sharp thinking – whoever said puns aren't instrumental to humor clearly hasn't hit the right notes! 🎵😄 It seems like inserting musical instruments into sentences is a symphony of sarcasm waiting to be appreciated! 🎶😆

My friend thinks he’s smart. He said onions are the o…

Commentary:
"Whoever said onions are the root of all evil clearly hasn't met a coconut-throwing friend! 🌰🥥 Now that's what I call adding a dash of tropical spice to the conversation! 😂 #CoconutsForTheWin"

I’m buysexual, you buy me food, I become sexual.

Commentary:
"Who knew that the way to someone's heart (and maybe more) was through their stomach? 🍔💕 #FoodIsTheKeyToLove"

Don’t worry password, I’m insecure too.

Commentary:
"Don't worry password, I'm insecure too. We make a great pair – together we're like two peas in a securely encrypted pod! 🤖🔒😄"

I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to ma…

Commentary:
Oh, the savagery! 🙈🤣 Looks like someone's sense of humor is as sharp as their memory! 🧠🤭 Just imagine the hilarity of selective amnesia in social situations! 😆👀 #Burnnnnn 🔥

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

Commentary:
"Ah, the most crucial part of any book – the page numbers! 📚✏️ Who needs a plot or characters when your page numbers are on point? Maybe I should start my own book with just the dedication page… 😂📖 #Priorities"

Don’t scare me, I fart easily.

Commentary:
Well, isn't that a gas-tastic quote! 💨😂 I mean, who knew being startled could lead to unexpected sound effects? This person should definitely come with a "Caution: May Fart Easily" warning label! Just imagine the possible chaos in a haunted house or during a surprise party 🎉. Remember folks, always approach with care and avoid any jump scares!

Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes