Commentary:
Guess I better check out quickly before someone adds me to their cart! ๐๐
1500 Funny joke quotes
If youโve never been hit with gay allegations, youโre not fly enough.
Therapy? I have Spotify.
Before I agree to the new year, I wanna read the terms and conditions.
I’m really into writing short fiction, mainly to-do lists.
My dental plan is, “I guess I’ll just chew on this side of my mouth from now on.”
A delivery driver just asked for my date of birth. I said, “94.” He replied, “Is that 1994?” Oh, sorry mate, no. My bad, that was 1794. Right around the French Revolution.
Handing over my ID at the post office. The clerk said, “You’ve aged quite a bit since this photo was taken.” I said, “Yes, I had it taken just before I joined this queue.”
My psych professor asked if we’d heard of Pavlov. I said, “It rings a bell.” No one laughed; I’m too witty for this class.
