980 Funny joke quotes

More funny joke quotes 👇

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  1 week ago

  View →: It’s way too easy to lie online. I was just telling Beyoncé about that the other day.
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  1 week ago

  View →: There’s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).
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  1 week ago

  View →: Are you http? Because I’m :// without you.
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  1 week ago

  View →: “You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.
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  1 week ago

  View →: Reverse cowgirl is not a fair trade because, why do you get a view of my sexy back, and all I’m seeing are your toes throwing gang signs?
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  1 week ago

  View →: I love when dudes are named Guy. Like, yeah. Exactly.
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  1 week ago

  View →: Whoever told you there’s no such thing as a stupid question lied.
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  1 week ago

  View →: Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.
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  1 week ago

  View →: Reverse cowgirl so he doesn’t see the double chin.
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  1 week ago

  View →: There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.
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  1 week ago

  View →: Whatever you ask the Universe for under this post, you will get next week.
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  1 week ago

  View →: Feeling weird from my cookie-based diet.
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  1 week ago

  View →: Normalize throwing lamps at people who need to lighten up.
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  2 weeks ago

  View →: The weather forecast should include the percentage of answers blowing in the wind.
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  2 weeks ago

  View →: My favorite Slipknot member is the one who wears the mask.
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  2 weeks ago

  View →: If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with, “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”
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  2 weeks ago

  View →: They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasn’t any demon stuff.
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  2 weeks ago

  View →: Of course, my summer body is ready; it’s the same as my winter body but sweatier.
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  2 weeks ago

  View →: I need a leaf blower, but for people.
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  2 weeks ago

  View →: I like my messages, how I like my nuts – MIXED.
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  2 weeks ago

  View →: I don’t wanna brag, but my posts are unpopular on all continents.
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  2 weeks ago

  View →: Due to inflation, alien abduction no longer comes with free probes. Humans are required to bring their own probes or may purchase a probe on board the spacecraft for a moderate fee.
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  2 weeks ago

  View →: The pumpkin was invented in 1942 when a watermelon put on a pair of corduroys.
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  2 weeks ago

  View →: “Machines will soon be as smart as people.” Ok, but which people?
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  2 weeks ago

  View →: I’ve spent 80% of my adult life resetting my password.
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  2 weeks ago

  View →: I need to stop living by the words “life is short.” It’s hurting my bank account.
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  2 weeks ago

  View →: They said I can never go back to that Vietnamese spot. They banh mi pho life.
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  2 weeks ago

  View →: Hey, boy, are you the worst-case scenario? Because you’re all I think about.
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  2 weeks ago

  View →: The gap in my resume? Yeah, it’s called playing outside.
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  2 weeks ago

  View →: The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

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