Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from has viewed:

Which wine pairs best with WWIII?

Someone from has shared:

People will think you know what you’re talking about if you give your opinion while cleaning a pair of reading glasses.

Someone from has downloaded:

Hey! Remember in the first grade when we were all just chilling and then some kid would throw up out of nowhere?

Someone from has copied:

You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

Someone from has shared:

Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like ‘I don’t know how to hold a pencil.’

Someone from has downloaded:

Everyone hates on Gollum but he had the right idea: become a hermit, collect jewels, swim naked in lakes and pools, occasionally hiss at people who try to make you go places.

Someone from has bookmarked:

As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

Someone from has shared:

I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

Someone from has downloaded:

Cleaning your kid’s room will piss you off, cause why is my Airfryer in here?

Someone from has downloaded:

I wish there was a nicer way to say “my natural tendency to spot patterns is making me feel very uncomfortable about you”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2242 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,404

Funny Quotes Topics

15,108

Funny Quotes Images

12,404

Updated

32 minutes ago

Users Online

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

New year update: losing everything but weight.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Be the reason why a count unleashes ancient horrors onto the world when he thinks of you.

Breaking via Instagram:

Interviewer: So why do you want this job? Me: I don’t. I just need money.

Reported on Instagram:

I’m not a morning person. I’m not even an afternoon person. I pretty much start functioning after 6pm.

Live now on Snapchat:

Nobody watches you harder than people who don’t like you, so give them a show they will never forget.

Going viral on Discord:

You wish you had this many chins.

Just shared via Messenger:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying seems to be working.

Just shared via TikTok:

December, give me a sweet ending for this year please.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I want to clarify that what I publish on social media does not define me as a person; I am worse.

Trending via Snapchat:

I was feeling kinda lonely this morning so I glued a coffee cup to the top of my car so people would wave at me.

Home » Funny Keys Quotes » Page 2

13 Funny keys quotes

More funny keys quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, phone, temper, and my mind.

Commentary:
"Wouldn't that be a dream come true? 🤔🔑📱😡🤪 Who needs a gym membership when you have these natural weight-loss methods! Just remember to always keep your sense of humor handy, it weighs nothing 😉🤣"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: I haven’t tried Yoga, but I bent over to pick up my keys off the floor, so I’m sure I wouldn’t like Yoga.

Commentary:
"Who needs Yoga when you've mastered the art of advanced key retrieval yoga pose? 💁‍♂️🔑 Maybe Yoga just needs to up its game to impress you! 😄"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.

Commentary:
"Remember, you hold the keys to your own sanity 🗝️ Keep those keys hidden like they're a winning lottery ticket to avoid craziness winding up in your passenger seat! 🚗😜"