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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Don’t suffer in silence. Make it everyone’s problem.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

I slept like a baby, knowing I’m a burden to everyone around me.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Going out for two days in a row should really be considered an extreme sport.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

That sound when you close the cupboard and hear something fall inside, that’s the sound of somebody else’s problem.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

I’m the ick in fantastic.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Today’s politics make me think we’re living in a movie where the villains actually win.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

I’m so cold, I wish I could get in the dryer.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say: “Close Enough.”

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

People say I act like I don’t care. It’s not an act.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

8 minutes ago

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Girls know how to flirt until it’s with someone they actually like.

Reported on Snapchat:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and share if you agree.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

We’re living in increasingly unfergalicious times.

Reported on Threads:

The neighbor sneezes loudly from the balcony. And because I’m a polite person, I shout loudly: Disgusting!

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Burger King implies the existence of an entire burger based feudal system.

Trending via Messenger:

There’s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).

Just landed via WeChat:

When I say I like when older men tell me what to do, I am talking about Yoda and his teachings.

Making waves on Snapchat:

A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

Home » Funny Lecture Quotes

Funny lecture quotes

New funny lecture quotes 👇

2 months ago
Share →: Parents will give you a lecture about fake friends and then get scammed by their own siblings.

Commentary:
"When your parents are experts in spotting fake friends but get bamboozled by Aunt Karen 🤦‍♂️😂 #FamilyDrama #PlotTwist" 🌟👀
4 months ago
Share →: My youngest had a mandatory drugs and alcohol lecture today at school, and he still can’t mix a proper drink.

Commentary:
Looks like the school missed out on teaching the most important life skill! 🍹💊 Hopefully, he'll stick to juice boxes until he figures it out. 😉
6 months ago
Share →: Once my school teacher lectured me for unacceptable behavior. That’s 30 mins of sleep I am never getting back

Commentary:
Looks like you had a lesson in 'sleepconomics'! 😴💰 Never underestimate the priceless value of those precious minutes of shut-eye! Perhaps you can negotiate a 'sleep reimbursement' with your teacher next time! 😉📚 #SleepDebt #TeacherTales

For even more funny lecture quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny lecture quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

8 minutes ago

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Contrary to what we currently believe, we don’t choose afternoon naps. Afternoon naps choose us.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Jesus died for your sins. If you don’t sin then he died for nothing!

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

I like you because we hate the same people.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Saturday nights are for watching zombie shows and dreaming about the apocalypse.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Just seen the cost of funerals and no wonder people are living longer.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

If you collect the crumbs from one Nature Valley granola bar, you can make three more granola bars.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

The man who invented autocorrect has died. Restaurant in peace.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

I wish rolling your eyes burned calories.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Thanks for leaving my door open; I was running low on houseflies.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Do crabs underwater think that fishes fly?

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I would never be comfortable delivering a baby. I can’t even remove an avocado pit without dropping it.

Going viral on Telegram:

I wish anxiety came with french fries.

Just landed via Instagram:

Is it fall yet? I really can’t suck my stomach in much longer.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The fake cough I use when calling in sick is now available on iTunes.

Reported on Facebook:

Have y’all tried calories? They’re so good.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

“Autism didn’t exist until recently!” Have you met old guys who work in hardware stores?

Just landed via Messenger:

Accidentally clicked a post about UFOs, and now my Facebook algorithm thinks I’m a much different person.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

If you have a Roomba, but don’t dress it up in little outfits, then what are you even doing?

Trending via Reddit:

Do crabs underwater think that fishes fly?

Shared recently on WeChat:

“Got milk?” Buddy, I don’t even have self-esteem.

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