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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Since I tolerate gluten and lactose well, I can afford a few intolerances in the interpersonal area.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Heelys don’t have brakes because my swag rides forever.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

When I tell my kids I’ll do something in a minute, what I’m really saying is “Please forget.”

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

And to my children I leave my collection of tote bags and gift bags.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

When I quit my job I’m setting one last OOO message that just says “your email will never find me again”

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hate the sounds you make when you chew.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

I toss and turn in bed all night like a beautiful rotisserie chicken.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

791 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,953

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,953

Updated

16 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn. It’s dead yarn now though.

Just landed via WeChat:

Why can’t they use deep fake technology for good instead of evil? Like taking Zoom meetings for you, stuff like that.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Why do chefs always have to cut everything so fast? It’s just an onion man, why don’t you relax?

Breaking via Facebook:

This year has been the perfect blend between me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

This is a horrible time in history to be a decent human being.

Breaking via Twitch:

I once made the irresponsible decision to drink and drive and now I have to live the rest of my days with a coffee stain on my favorite sweater.

Seen just now on Slack:

Stirring up shit at the wedding by going up to random people and saying “I think it’s so brave that you’re here”.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

By the time I remember to text back, it be too disrespectful to even do it.

Just shared via Instagram:

At least 80% of my day is spent holding back my inappropriate thoughts.

Just landed via Instagram:

Nice thing about dating a doctor is if you wanna stop seeing them, you can just eat an apple.

Home » Funny Meet Up Quotes

Funny meet up quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

791 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,953

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,953

Updated

16 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Befuddlingly, a palm tree won’t fit in your hand.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Tensing up so the masseuse doesn’t win.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Gonna spend today following my cats into the kitchen and meowing at them until they give me treats.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting… It’s like, woah, I’m not the same person I was last night.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

I don’t do “casual.” I’m like an 18th-century vampire. When I fall in love, my devotion is boundless and eternal.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Imagine falling in love with me then finding out I’m a slow walker.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Forget pheromones, barbecue smells are always attractive.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who is startled by my own toast popping up while I’m watching it. Every. Single. Time.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Lazy Rule: Can’t reach it, don’t need it.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Do married people watch Gen Z dating and feel like they caught the last chopper out of Nam?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

I’m forced to conclude that not liking my posts is a you problem.

Making waves on Pinterest:

If you think you’re going to be in a dangerous situation, dress accordingly. Don’t wear flip-flops to a bank robbery, for example.

Spotted on Telegram:

The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

Seen just now on Reddit:

The sweet potato is the kindest vegetable.

Making waves on Telegram:

Every room can be a room with a view when I’m in it.

Breaking via Instagram:

Did we do it, did we save the daylight?

Shared recently on Reddit:

My life advice is always the same. Wait for karma, but take up kickboxing, just in case.

Reported on Facebook:

Hey boy, are you my period? Because you’re annoying as hell but I still wanna see you regularly.

Spotted on Messenger:

Folks, please have more respect for people with glasses. Because they pay money to see you.

Seen just now on Instagram:

At what point is a salad no longer a salad based on how much bacon I add?

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