I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

Commentary:
"Who needs a night light when you've got Temu's special glow-in-the-dark antidepressants? 💊✨ Say goodbye to the darkness… and hello to your new radiant aura! 😂 #GlowUp"

Noise cancelling headphones but for when the noises are coming from inside your head.

Noise cancelling headphones but for when the noises are coming from inside your head.

Commentary:
"Introducing the revolutionary invention: Mind-canceling headphones! For those times when your thoughts are louder than the world around you. 🧠🔕 Just sit back, relax, and enjoy the sound of silence… inside your head! 💭🙉"

It’s healthy to be a little insane sometimes.

It’s healthy to be a little insane sometimes.

Commentary:
"Embrace your inner craziness… it's the secret ingredient to a balanced diet of madness! 🤪🥗 #HealthyInsanity"

Being insane should at least burn calories.

Being insane should at least burn calories.

Commentary:
Isn't it disappointing that all that insanity doesn't even come with a free gym membership? 🤪💪 Maybe the key to weight loss is just a little bit of crazy! Who needs HIIT workouts when you've got mental breakdowns, am I right? 😂

Therapy isn't enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

Commentary:
Sounds like someone is looking for a shocking solution to their problems! ⚡️😂 Maybe they've been binging too many sci-fi movies where memory wipes are the ultimate quick fix! 🎬💥 Just don't go sticking your finger in the electric socket, okay? It's not the zap you're looking for! 😉🔌

Going to the gym to exercise my demons.

Going to the gym to exercise my demons.

Commentary:
"Off to the gym to sweat out my demons and get that exorcise! 💪😈 #FitnessGoals #DemonsBeGone"

Twitter is basically a psychiatric ward where all the patients diagnose each other.

Twitter is basically a psychiatric ward where all the patients diagnose each other.

Commentary:
"Ah, Twitter, where everyone's a doctor, a patient, and the entire hospital staff all rolled into one 😅💬🏥 #TwitterPsychWard"

Being silly is very important for my mental health.

Being silly is very important for my mental health.

Commentary:
"Who knew that being absolutely bonkers was actually a form of self-care? 😜 Embrace the silliness and keep those mental health vibes strong! 🤪"

Gaslighting myself into thinking I’m in a good mood.

Gaslighting myself into thinking I’m in a good mood.

Commentary:
Ah, the art of self-deception meets the science of emotional manipulation 🎭😅. Just a casual internal game of "Guess Who's the Happy One Today?" starring none other than yourself, the ultimate master of disguise 👀🤹‍♂️. Remember, if at first you don't succeed, gaslight, gaslight again! 😜🔦 #WhosInChargeHere

Ah yes, my abandonment issues due to all the abandonment.

Ah yes, my abandonment issues due to all the abandonment.

Commentary:
🤔 "Ah, the classic case of abandonment issues – brought to you by…well, abandonment. A true case of cause and effect at its finest! 😂 Who needs therapy when life provides such clear explanations for our quirks, right?"