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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

I need to stop drinking so much. Did I say drinking? I meant thinking. I definitely need to drink more.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like “just kidding.”

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

I only sleep so my phone can get the night off.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

I was actually a little too thankful yesterday so today I’m going to even it out with some ungratefulness and entitlement.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Alcohol is a vicious cycle: regret, recovery, repeat.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

The perfect job for me would be the person staining things for detergent commercials.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

DUI stands for: don’t Uber, I got this.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Some people stay in the past because that’s where they peaked.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don’t know whether to get dressed or fake an illness.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

They expect me to work at work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

33 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

It sure is strange that after Tuesday the rest of the week spells WTF.

Making waves on Telegram:

Any cults got something wild planned anytime soon? I’m trying to find the good estate sales.

Trending via X:

A good substitute for love and and personal fulfillment is a big bowl of fries.

Making waves on Discord:

Sorry, I don’t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.

Trending via Telegram:

Cats must think we’re so weird for constantly harvesting their poop.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Limiting my replies to introverts, wizards, freaks and vampires only.

Seen just now on Telegram:

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I like people who can admit their mistakes and apologize. In other words, I like very few people.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Butterflies all seem so nice but I’ll bet some of them are real bastards.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

33 minutes ago

Users Online

3,419

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Let’s tell the truth cell phone. I don’t have six missed calls. I have six ignored calls.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

His hands wouldn’t stop talking to me, your honor.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Don’t tell me about your wild weekend. My TV remote died and I switched the batteries around, and now it’s working.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

I wish I could turn everyone I love into a trinket, so I can keep them forever, because I am greedy and selfish.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

All pants are tear away pants if you’re strong enough.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

I don’t want to party like it’s 1999, I want to go grocery shopping like it is.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

The fact that I have a lot of wine in the house proves that I don’t drink much. Otherwise the wine would be gone.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

At this point, I’m sure I’ll meet an alien or zombies before I meet the love of my life!

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Girl cats get named after ancient goddesses and boy cats get named after Taco Bell menu items.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

I find myself thinking “God, I need a cigarette” way too often for someone who doesn’t actually smoke.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

If you start a sentence with “Let me reiterate…”, I’m gonna ignore it the second time too.

Making waves on Reddit:

I made up all these romantic scenarios in my brain and you’re not following the script.

Live now on X:

When phones were tied with wires, people were free. Now that phones are wireless, people are tied.

Making waves on TikTok:

I only have one wish in life… For all my dreams to come true.

Trending via Telegram:

“Tom Cruise does his own stunts!” Okay cool, but so do I.

Just shared via WeChat:

How do I tell someone respectfully to die in a fire?

Breaking via Reddit:

A tip for your next salary negotiation: simply tell your boss “either I get a pay rise or I go out and tell everyone I got one!”

Reported on Telegram:

Ruining the Olympics for my fiancée by, every time they mention Paris, saying, “that’s where Ratatouille lived”.

Going viral on Slack:

Honestly, I don’t even play an active role in my life any more. Things just happen and I’m like “I guess this is what we’re doing now.”

Making waves on Instagram:

Yeah, no worries, man. You just showed everyone that you have a lot of resentments bubbling underneath, but otherwise, it was a cool evening.

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