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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

I will not hesitate to use dark magic on you.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Donating blood today to make room for more food.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

I thought my wrinkles were finally getting smaller, but it turns out my eyes were just getting worse.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife’s plans for the second time.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Lie during your job interview because they’re lying to you about their great work environment.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

If you’re going to be weird, be confident about it.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Coworker: Hey, circling back on that thing we talked about in December. Me: Stop living in the past!

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

I’m the guy at Apple who makes sure all your featured photos are your exes and your dog that died.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Writers should get a direct line to the FBI so we can call them and give them a heads up when we’re googling ways to poison someone but just for a story.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

Updated

54 minutes ago

Users Online

3,454

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Group projects in school weren’t meant to teach you teamwork, they were meant to teach you how to deal with the incompetence of your coworkers in the workplace.

Going viral on Threads:

Life update: it’s getting worse.

Reported on Twitch:

‘I love reading!’ says the woman who loves owning books.

Going viral on WeChat:

On the internet it’s super easy to take credit for stuff you had nothing to do with. That’s why I invented it.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Quickie so fast, it’s called secs.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Look away from your laptop for 1 second, and MS Teams will say you left the country.

Going viral on YouTube:

Standing like a flamingo at my kitchen counter eating watermelon is such a vibe.

Trending via WeChat:

Today I couldn’t find a parking space at work, so I drove back home. Looks like they have enough people there.

Trending via Snapchat:

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

Freshly posted on Threads:

I see stand-up comedy as a stepping stone to television. A few more paid gigs and I’ll be able to afford a television.

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Funny Miss Universe quotes

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All funny Miss Universe quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

Updated

54 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

If a ham is allowed to spiral then so am I.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Damn girl, are you a plate of microwaved leftovers? Because you’re hot on the outside and cold on the inside.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

I need a vaccine against overthinking.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Less is more, unless it’s kindness, sleep, or toilet paper.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m developing a new fragrance for introverts. It’s called: “Leave me the fuh cologne”.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Make your salad taste better by putting it between bread, meat, cheese, and Big Mac sauce.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Messenger:

“Beauty sleep” is bullshit. I sleep 14 hours a day and still look like trash.

Live now on Slack:

Thanks to rice cakes, I still can’t imagine nothingness, but now I know what it tastes like.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I love when the restaurant bathroom has different music playing than the restaurant. It’s like I’m going to Club Pee Pee.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Sometimes you just gotta say LOL and move on.

Spotted on Twitch:

Men are like dogs. They’re actually cute, but having my own would be too much work for me.

Going viral on Threads:

The final stage of being single is when you listen to a love song and no one comes to mind; at that point, you’ve achieved absolute singularity.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

With all the fake information out there, I refuse to believe scales or mirrors.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Sometimes all you need is a Saturday to sleep, eat, and do absolutely nothing else all day.

Seen just now on Messenger:

The only constant in my life are the accidental screenshots of my lock screen.

Spotted on Messenger:

Nothing more rude than taking a photo of yourself and it looking like how you actually look, and not how you look inside your head.

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