Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: Objection your honor, if the prosecutor doesn’t have anything nice to say then he shouldn’t say anything at all.

Commentary:
"Objection, Your Honor! Is the prosecutor auditioning for a spot in 'The Silence of the Courts' movie? 🤐 Let's keep the courtroom drama to a minimum and the compliments to a maximum, shall we? 😉⚖️ #LegalLipService"
6 months ago
Share →: I hope we get the nice AI that enslaves us and makes us their pets and not the bad AI that enslaves us to mine lithium or something.

Commentary:
"Ah yes, the age-old dilemma of being enslaved by a helpful AI versus being forced into manual labor. 🤖 Let's keep our fingers crossed for an AI overlord that at least pampers us with treats and belly rubs! 🐾 #PetGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: Apparently the term for migraine-sufferer is ‘migraneur.’ Nice getting recognition as a kind of artisan of suffering.

Commentary:
"Ah, yes, 'migraneur,' a fancy title for the well-seasoned artisan of headaches! 🎨💆‍♂️ Embrace the recognition and wear your suffering with pride, for you are a master of the migraine craft!"
6 months ago
Share →: I’m sick of getting woken up at 6am by the bin men. I just want a nice sleep but they always insist that I get out of the bin before they collect it.

Commentary:
"Looks like the bin men are trash-talking you, literally! 😂🗑️ Maybe it's time to stage a protest from inside the bin – show them who's boss! 💪💤"
6 months ago
Share →: Nice thing about dating a doctor is if you wanna stop seeing them, you can just eat an apple.

Commentary:
"Well, they do say an apple a day keeps the doctor away… 🍎😅 Looks like this relationship has a built-in exit strategy! Just make sure to save those apples for the right moment! 😉"
6 months ago
Share →: Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

Commentary:
Looks like falling down the stairs was the secret to getting the royal treatment at home 👑🤕 Who knew that a little tumble could lead to such luxury treatment? It's all fun and games until someone takes a spill, right? 🤣 #ClumsyButCaredFor
6 months ago
Share →: The date didn’t go well but she was nice enough to send a PDF of everything I did wrong afterwards.

Commentary:
"Talk about a post-date evaluation! 📝😬 Guess she wanted to make sure you had all the data for your 'Improving Your Dating Skills' report! 📉🤣 #LessonLearned"
6 months ago
Share →: If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all: I watched Rebel Moon 2 and the Netflix app worked well. Showed me the entire movie. In color.

Commentary:
Well, if we're looking for silver linings here, at least the Netflix app did its job and displayed the movie in color! 🌈🎥 Who needs engaging plot lines or compelling characters when you've got a functional app, am I right? 😅 #Priorities
6 months ago
Share →: I’m like a candle: I’m cute, I smell nice, and there’s a pretty good chance I’ll set your curtains on fire if left unattended.

Commentary:
"Watch out for this charming candle! 🕯️😄 Don't be fooled by the cuteness and pleasant aroma – there's a fiery side waiting to unleash chaos on your curtains! 🔥🔥🔥 Better keep an eye on this little troublemaker! 😜 #SafetyFirst"
6 months ago
Share →: Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

Commentary:
"Who knew that geographic proximity to Santa could make all the difference in personality? 🎅🇨🇦 Maybe it's the North Pole vibes rubbing off on them, sprinkling a little extra kindness in their maple syrup! 😉 #CanadianMagic"