Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

122 Funny over quotes

When I watch hockey, I pretend they’re fighting over the last Oreo.

3 months ago

I’m always sad when my sandwich is over.

3 months ago

I always bring a glass of water to bed with me so I have something to knock over in the middle of the night.

3 months ago

I just need to get over everything that has happened to me in my entire life and then we can hang out.

3 months ago

I stay up late every night, regret it in the morning, and the next day I do it all over again.

3 months ago

Not to brag, but I can trip over things that aren’t even there!

3 months ago

I started my diet 2 hours ago, I’m glad that’s over.

3 months ago

My back hurts too much to lean over anymore, going to have to resort to picking things up with a deep curtsy.

3 months ago

My wheelchair keeps making a screaming noise when I run over people.

3 months ago

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

3 months ago

Parenting is yelling ‘you just had a snack!’ over and over until you give in and throw them another snack.

3 months ago

I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.

3 months ago

Microdosing bungee jumping by bending over to pick up a hair tie.

3 months ago

Them: Money doesn’t bring happiness. Me: Pass the money over here, I like to be sad.

3 months ago

No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.

3 months ago

I’m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth that’s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

3 months ago

I woke up deciding to incorporate the parkour lifestyle into my daily life then reconsidered as I fell over again putting my jeans on.

3 months ago

I can’t believe she picked her husband, her boyfriend and her other boyfriend over me.

3 months ago

Is Craigslist still around, or did everyone over there get murdered?

3 months ago

I haven’t tried Yoga, but I bent over to pick up my keys off the floor, so I’m sure I wouldn’t like Yoga.

3 months ago