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Peel the chair like a banana when no one's watching! 🍌👀✨
246 Funny over quotes
The amount of sleeping I’ve done over the past few days has been phenomenal. I genuinely love doing absolutely nothing.
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Sleeping Olympics gold medalist right here! 😴🥇 #ProNapAthlete
Looking over both shoulders before googling “Chinese burger.”
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Trying to stay under the Google radar like a stealthy ninja while searching for secret burger recipes 🍔🤫🥷
In your 20s, you’ll meet a short man. It’s very important you jump over him.
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Leap into your 30s with style—short men make great hurdles! 🏃♀️🤣🏆
My washing machine is over here taking load after load, like Bonnie Blue.
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Is your washing machine available for motivational speeches? I've got some laundry-threatening procrastination issues over here! 🧺😅✨
Sometimes I glance over at my boyfriend, and he’s just looking at Google Maps, scrolling around.
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When your boyfriend's sense of adventure means exploring virtual streets instead of taking out the trash 🗺️🤣🗑️
Do men know they don’t have to date if they’re not over their ex?
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Sounds like some men need to uninstall their "ex" from their operating system before downloading a new relationship 😂🤦♂️💔
Just found out my 84-year-old neighbour is on his own tomorrow, so I’ve just been over to collect his spare chairs to borrow.
Commentary:
😂👏 Taking "being neighborly" to a whole new level! Who said borrowing sugar was enough? 🍭💺
White elephant: Nothing brings people together like fighting over absolute garbage.
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Nothing says holiday cheer like a room full of people pretending a broken lamp is the Holy Grail 🏺🎁😂
Therapists probably have to struggle so hard not to ask to see pictures of the people their clients are obsessing over.
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I can only imagine therapists trying to resist saying, "Pics or it didn't happen!" 😂🛋️📸